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The Easiest Look for This Day of LOVE, No Matter What Your Plans

February 14, 2017 kelsey

I think it's safe to say this Holiday Which Shall Not Be Named is a bit polarizing. It seems either people are head-over-heels obsessed with the red, white, and pink, or the inescapable reminders of the holiday make them want to barf (or cry). The mention of the very day can elicit squeals or eye rolls (if you're one of the latter, I highly recommend checking out this post). I find myself somewhere in the middle. Much of the polarization seems to be due to the focus on romance instead of love.  

I was digging through some old family photos last week when I found an old valentine that Grace had sent me after she had visited: "Kelsy, I love sleeping with you. I love doing fun things with you. Your the best biggest sister I love you and I hope you have a good valentine day!" She reminded me of why I used to love Valentine's Day—an opportunity to show everyone I love (classmates, friends, sisters, brothers, parents) that I love them. A nostalgic feeling of funfetti cupcakes with pink frosting and valentine mailboxes came over me as I looked at it. I sensed her innocence, her excitement for the holiday, her pure goodness, and her desire to shower others with love. This feeling, of simply wanting others to know they are loved, seems to get lost in the commercialization of the holiday. My friend Jenny articulated well our shared desire to make this day about love rather than romance. That's a holiday we can all get behind, regardless of relationship status.

So no matter what you're doing tonight—ordering pizza with your roommates or slipping on heels for a night on the town—a red lip is something you can wear for any occasion. As some of you might have seen on my Instagram, I have been sharing all the reasons I wear a red lip as part of the #VerilyRedLipChallenge. This bold lipstick is an instant outfit-maker and statement "accessory" no matter what you're wearing. While it might seem a bit odd to pair lipstick with your casual duds, I actually think it dresses them up and pulls everything together. I love to wear red lipstick with an otherwise neutral outfit as a pop of color, or pair it with more red, of course (In case you've forgotten, I love red!). However, sometimes I feel silly wearing all-out red to a Valentine's event or date night (though who cares!) so opting for a more subtle yet equally appropriate ode to the holiday in a red lip tones it down. Finally, as I've mentioned before, I first learned my love of wearing "just a little lipstick" from my mother. Growing up, my mom had a tube of lipstick in every nook and cranny. If she didn’t have time to put on any other makeup, she would always swipe on “just a little lipstick,” as she would say. I realized that “just a little lipstick” magnified the confidence and warmth brought out by her signature feature—her smile. In awe and imitation of my mom’s inner and outer beauty, I made lipstick (especially a bold red!) a regular in my makeup routine. As women and girls, we often struggle to love and appreciate our bodies, as I discussed in my last post. On the contrary, a red lip highlights what I love about myself—it brightens my eyes and draws attention to my smile—two of my favorite features. So no matter where you're going or what you're wearing, I highly recommend adding a pop of red. 

A red lip paired with a casual sweatshirt + boyfriend jeans? Instant outfit-maker

A red lip paired with a casual sweatshirt + boyfriend jeans? Instant outfit-maker

A pop of color to an otherwise neutral outfit

A pop of color to an otherwise neutral outfit

The red lip works as a complementary accessory to the red belt! 

The red lip works as a complementary accessory to the red belt! 

My favorite part: a red lip brings out my eyes + brightens my smile—just like Mom 

My favorite part: a red lip brings out my eyes + brightens my smile—just like Mom 

How are you celebrating this day of LOVE?

with a little grace,

          Kelsey

In style
← Guest Post: Marriage is Not for MeWhat Does It Mean to Love Our Bodies? →

follow along...

Valentine’s Day is nice and all, but love doesn’t really look like roses & chocolates. Love is in the daily, gritty, often unglamorous details & small sacrifices. For me, love looks like waking up in the middle of the night, round the clock feedings, cleaning up Lucy’s blowouts💩, having hard conversations, apologizing, and forgiving.
💙
“Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”
💙
I know I’m not alone in loving this quote (apparently by James Whelan, SJ—not Pedro Arrupe, SJ! Thanks @jamesmartinsj). But it has never been more true. Falling in love with these two has really decided everything. Falling in love with these two has decided where I live, what I do, and who I am. Falling in love with them is revealing my sins, and slowly but surely purifying them & pointing me toward God. Despite my reluctance at times to let go of my own selfishness, they are helping me become, I hope & pray, the saint God wants me to be. To me, that is what it means to be in love.
It’s finally here! 🎉

I’ve been wanting to write this post for 6+ months. I’ve had several requests for it.
...
FINALLY the details of our journey to fertility & how I naturally healed my own infertility is live on With A Little Grace now #linkinbio
🤗
#WomanCode @vittialisa @floliving
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(Our maternity photos by the wonderful & talented @rachelgabes!)
This was Lucy’s first time at a restaurant and my first time wearing lipstick since she was born 💋(let me re-phrase that—most days do NOT look like this!)
I’ve always been an advocate of self care, but as a mom—when it’s tempting to deny self care altogether and hardest to make time for it—I find I literally need it more than ever.
And more than ever, I realize it’s NOT at all selfish. Because when I don’t take time away from Lucy to take care of my needs, I can’t take care of Lucy to the best of my ability.
💓
Self care isn’t just getting pedicures or massages—it’s putting on your metaphorical oxygen tank so you can help others.
😷
For me, self care is more basic than ever these days. Right now, self care often looks like getting sleep when Lucy sleeps, brushing my teeth, taking a shower, occasionally putting on real clothes or lipstick, drinking enough water, and making sure I’m nourished. If I don’t do those things, I get overwhelmed and can’t take care of my sweet girl very well. That’s not doing her any favors. If I’m not taking care of me, I can’t be the best mom to her. So mamas (and everyone!) give yourself permission to care for YOU! We all need it 💕
#selfcare #newmom
Every time I post a picture of her, I think of you.

I think of you whom I know by name are struggling, and you whom I don’t know at all. 
I think of how much it hurt me every time I saw a post about a baby or pregnancy announcement, how it could bring me to my knees—especially if I had just gotten a negative pregnancy test.
And with that, part of me thinks I shouldn’t post. Part of me doesn’t want to even mention pregnancy or my baby for fear of triggering you.

And then I think about how it’s a “both/and” - my joy and excitement over my baby hasn’t made me forget you. It hasn’t made me forget the pain of what it’s like to be where you are—hoping, waiting, praying. Yes, I have absolute joy for this precious gift we’ve been blessed with, *and* my heart still breaks for you, for anyone whom I unintentionally hurt when you see this post.

For those I know who suffer from infertility, when I see you’ve liked a post with her, I wince. I wonder if it made you cry. I wonder if it made you angry. I wonder if you think I forgot what’s it like. Posts of babies & pregnancy announcements often left me feeling bitter, jealous, sad—maybe that’s not you. Maybe you are stronger than I was, or your heart is kinder than mine. But for any pain these posts cause you, I’m sorry. And I want you to know I haven’t forgotten you. I haven’t forgotten the pain. I am both joyful and excited for our Lucy and still heartbroken and hoping for you. ❤️💔
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(You can check out my recent article for @verilymag about seeing life in “both/and” terms rather than “either/or” at the #linkinbio)

this journal is a love letter to my littlest sister, Grace, intended to promote all types of grace and with my Grace in mind. whatever your age or walk of life, i hope your journey is enhanced with a little grace.

Thank you!