My Favorite Healthy (Clean) Sweet Treats

If you know me personally or have been following along here long enough, you probably know two facts about me: I have a huge sweet tooth and I cut out all refined sugar and gluten when trying to get pregnant naturally with our first child, Lucy. While I still love to bake and eat sweets, after that life-changing experience I couldn’t deny the power of our lifestyle choices (including what we eat) and how they so clearly affect our health. So, since then, I’ve tried to maintain a “cleaner” lifestyle, cutting out toxins in my beauty routine, household products, and trying to eat “clean”. What that typically means is that I focus on eating whole, real, non-processed food and ingredients, generally trying to avoid refined sugar, gluten, and dairy. I certainly do not eat strictly like this, but I try to eat that way as much as I can (while certainly indulging in the occasional treat!).

While it seems that these two facts are mutually exclusive—if you want to have sweets, you can’t eat clean—the following recipes beg to differ. Since I certainly enjoy something sweet to cap out the evening (who am I kidding—even throughout the day) I feel a lot better indulging in one of these “healthier” or clean treats—sweetened with real maple syrup, honey, dates, or bananas. (You’ll notice many of these recipes are vegan—I am not vegan and do not necessarily try to eat that way, but many of the recipes are naturally vegan or offer a vegan option.) Here, I’ve compiled some of my favorite “clean” sweet recipes so none of us has to choose between a treat or eating clean.

No-Bake Energy Bites

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I found this recipe on the back of the flaxseed meal from Trader Joe’s, and I’ve modified it ever-so-slightly to create my favorite “healthy” treat. These energy bites remind me of cookie dough (my favorite) with their chewy/gooey consistency (but are much healthier). I eat them for a quick snack as well as dessert. They are refined sugar-free, gluten-free, and vegan except for the chocolate chips—but you could use Lily’s vegan, stevia-sweetened baking chips to maintain the clean factor. (You could also sub almond or other nut butters for the peanut butter if you prefer.) I always double or triple the recipe because I go through them so quickly!

1 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup ground flaxseed meal

1 heaping tsp. (or more) of cinnamon

1/2 cup natural peanut butter

1/3 cup honey

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 cup chocolate chips

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl, then add in wet ingredients and combine. Finally, add chocolate chips. Roll into 1-inch balls. Place bites in a covered bowl or airtight container and refrigerate until set (about 1 hour).

Chocolate Date Bites

A friend sent me this recipe when I was completely avoiding all refined sugar and gluten as part of my efforts to get pregnant naturally by changing my diet and lifestyle. I love to pop in these little chocolatey bites, sweetened with dates, for an easy snack or for “dessert” at night. With three main ingredients, all you need is a food processor. Again, refined sugar-free, gluten-free, and vegan—all clean!

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1.5 cups walnuts

pinch of salt

1 cup pitted dates

1 tsp vanilla

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

Add walnuts and salt to food processor and mix until nuts are finely ground. Add in the remaining ingredients until combined. Add a few drops of water to make the mixture stick together.

With your hands or a cookie dough scooper, form into small, round balls. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Healthy Brownies

Photo by Jeanine Donofrio and Jack Mathews in Love & Lemons Every Day

Photo by Jeanine Donofrio and Jack Mathews in Love & Lemons Every Day

Before you scroll past this recipe, assuming “healthy” brownies couldn’t compare to the “real” thing, hold on a second. My sister Molly first made these from the Love & Lemons Every Day cookbook (which she has and I hope to get soon) and I couldn’t believe they were vegan, refined sugar-free, and gluten-free! They are gooey, chocolatey, sweet, and delicious. I was so glad to find the recipe online (see below for link) but I encourage you to get the cookbook—there are some incredible (and somehow still healthy and plant-based) recipes in it, like the vegan nachos Molly has mastered.

This recipe calls for cashew butter, which I LOVE, but Molly has used the less-expensive almond butter, and they still taste great! I’ve also used almond flour or almond meal instead of the homemade oat flour it calls for, but honestly, the oat flour is super easy to make (you just need a food processor) and cheaper than almond flour. Either works! Also, don’t skimp on the chocolate chips on top. I’ve yet to make it with nuts or raspberries but I can only imagine the brownies would be even better that way.

Vegan Date Brownies Recipe from Love & Lemons Every Day

Tahini Chocolate Chip Cookies

Photo by Grace Foley on The State of Grace

Photo by Grace Foley on The State of Grace

I’ll be honest, I was skeptical of using tahini in chocolate chip cookies… I was also very skeptical of trying to make the time-tested, classic dessert that is chocolate chip cookies (my personal favorite) paleo, refined sugar-free, gluten-free, and vegan. So you could imagine I was absolutely shocked by how much I loved these and how much they still tasted like… gooey, chewy, chocolate chip cookies! (I will say that the cookie “dough” for these is nothing like the original, so if you’re a dough lover like me, you’ll have to cede that.) The recipe (linked below) is actually from my sister Molly’s friend Grace Foley’s blog, The State of Grace.

To. Die. For. Salted Chocolate Chip Tahini Cookies by The State of Grace



Chocolate (Avocado) Pudding

A friend generously dropped off this “chocolate pudding” after Lucy was born, and I was hesitant to try it because I’m actually not a pudding person. So you can imagine I was happily surprised (yet confused) when I finally did try it and I liked it much better than any pudding I’ve ever tasted. When I admitted this all to my friend and asked her for the recipe, she smiled and said, “You must like avocados.” Turns out, this recipe is plant-based and clean, and is actually chocolate avocado “pudding” (and not really pudding at all). I guess that explains why I like it so much!

Do not skip the nuts, coconut flakes, and/or chocolate chips as toppings! They add the perfect crunch that the smooth and creamy pudding needs.

2 large avocados

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup pure maple syrup

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup freshly squeezed orange juice (no sugar added)

1/2 tsp kosher salt

3/4 cup hot water

Toppings: pistachios, unsweetened coconut flakes, other chopped nuts, chocolate chips or cocoa nibs

Scoop flesh from avocados into blender. Add cocoa powder, maple syrup, honey, orange juice, and salt to blender and blend to a coarse purée. With motor running, gradually stream in hot (but not boiling) water. Add more orange juice as needed until mixture is smooth and creamy. Cover and chill in refrigerator at least 2 hours and up to 3 days. Top with toppings and enjoy! (Makes 6 servings)



Refined Sugar-Free Chocolates / Peanut Butter Cups

Full disclosure: I have not tried this exact recipe. Again, a friend made me some “healthy” chocolate cups when I was trying to get pregnant (clearly, I have some awesome and generous friends) but I never got the recipe. All I knew was she used coconut oil, unsweetened cocoa powder, and maple syrup to make them. A quick google search led me to this recipe, which allows you to make them as healthy, vegan chocolates, but also offers a variation to make these into healthy, vegan peanut butter cups—umm, yes! If you’re a peanut butter cup or chocolate lover like I am but are looking for refined sugar-free or vegan options, these ones from I Love Vegan sound pretty simple.

5 Ingredient Coconut Oil Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups by I Love Vegan

Healthy Banana Muffins*

Photo by Love & Lemons

Photo by Love & Lemons

These are not technically clean because they are not gluten-free (they use whole wheat flour) hence the asterisk. However, because it’s whole wheat flour (rather than white or all-purpose flour), vegan, and refined-sugar free (and just delicious) I’ve included them in this list. Also from Love & Lemons, these healthy banana muffins are the perfect breakfast treat or snack (Lucy loves them). I modify the recipe to add a full teaspoon each of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves, and I usually use regular (cow’s) milk instead of almond milk because I have it on hand. I admit I also do sprinkle real refined sugar on top of the muffins, like my mom does with her pumpkin bread, to give it that signature crunchy top. And personally, I wouldn’t dare not add the “optional” chocolate chips (see above about Lily’s vegan/refined sugar-free option) .

Healthy Banana Muffins by Love & Lemons

Chocolate Peanut Butter Shake

Photo by Averie Cooks

Photo by Averie Cooks

This thick, chocolatey peanut butter banana shake hits the spot when I’m craving a milkshake but don’t want to fully indulge. This recipe from Averie Cooks (linked below) calls for a sweetener like Stevia, but I have never made it that way, as I think it’s plenty sweet with the frozen bananas (and that keeps it refined sugar-free). This recipe uses unsweetened almond milk, but if you don’t care about keeping it vegan (or don’t have almond milk on hand) you can use regular milk (or probably whatever kind of milk you prefer).

Thick and Fudgy Chocolate Peanut Butter Smoothie by Averie Cooks

Magnificent Moms: All About Postpartum & Breastfeeding

“The Most Important Person on Earth”

by Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty

“The most important person on earth is a mother. She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral—a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s body.

The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring new saints to heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creatures. God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation.

What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?”

My OB in Chicago gave me this quote on a prayer card when I moved to Michigan halfway through my first pregnancy. I have enjoyed sharing it with pregnant or newly postpartum moms, as I was deeply moved by it when I was a new mom—and I continue to be. Motherhood is full of struggles and sacrifices—of which labor and birth are only a notable beginning. But motherhood, in whatever way it comes to a woman—biologically, through adoption, or via spiritual motherhood—is without a doubt a glorious, beautiful, unparalleled gift of grace, as Cardinal Mindszenty so eloquently articulates.

Postpartum is a natural consequence of the truly unique gift of sharing in “God’s creative miracle” as a mother, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult. For biological mothers, the postpartum period and breastfeeding pose mental and physical challenges that are exclusive to motherhood. While undoubtedly difficult, these experiences are part of what make a mother “the most important person on earth”. Like birth, postpartum recovery and breastfeeding allow mothers to partake in Christ’s redemptive suffering to give way to something far greater—life. This doesn’t mean we can’t be prepared for the postpartum period, though, or do what we can to minimize the discomfort it causes. Rather, I believe that we honor mothers and the glorious role they play in creation by supporting them through and—as with this post—preparing them for postpartum.

Postpartum

I did a lot to prepare for labor and birth, but to be honest, I was not ready for the drastic discomfort of postpartum (disclaimer: the initial weeks of postpartum did *not* look like these pictures). Without trying to scare anyone, I always talk to first time moms about how sore I was and how slowly I needed to take things at first because I remember wondering, “Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?!” There seems to be so much focus on the physicality of birth that postpartum often gets overlooked. I had seen mom friends and my own mother after their births, and they did not seem to be in nearly the amount of pain I was in those first few days and weeks after giving birth.

This, I’ve learned, is likely because postpartum soreness tends to ease with each subsequent birth, and because—even the first time—you feel better and better each passing day and week. But it doesn’t help that an accurate postpartum depiction is rarely portrayed in the media, and we see people like the royals who seem just fine, walking in high heels just days after giving birth. Not only can this leave moms unprepared for the intense physical recovery period after birth, but it can make us feel like something’s wrong with us for struggling to sit, stand, and move. With A Little Grace was founded on sisterhood, as I vowed to share things I’d share with my sisters—things I love and value as well as things I wish I’d known. So while the topic borders on discomfort to write, it’s exactly the type of post that I wish I had before giving birth—and the kind of post With A Little Grace was created for.

*Admittedly, I am not your best resource if you have a C-section. I am only speaking from my experience of birth and postpartum, so I don’t know what’s necessary or not in recovering from a C-section.

Postpartum essentials*

  • Stool softener: Colace or up&up stool softener (MUCH cheaper) - After birth, your body focuses on recovering and healing from delivery and not so much on digestion, so it’s safe to say you will be constipated for a few days afterward. The hospital will likely start giving you stool softener shortly after birth, but you’ll want to have some ready at home, too (as well as eat a lot of fiber) to try to get things moving again. (Just make sure you follow the recommendations, dosage, and frequency of your midwife or OB.) Just be warned that even if you take these measures, your first bowel movement after giving birth will likely be… uncomfortable.

  • Pads/adult diapers: Rael organic cotton pads or up&up adult incontinence underwear - Pick your poison here, but you will need some serious pads or adult diapers for at least a few weeks after giving birth. (No need to bring them to the hospital, they will have some there.) Not the most comfortable thing to wear, but it’s a necessity as you will have postpartum bleeding for weeks as your uterus shrinks back to it’s pre-pregnancy size. If you opt for pads, I took extra pairs of the hospital underwear which are big and stretchy, but a friend also recommended to get some inexpensive, cotton, comfortable underwear in a size up so you don’t mind if they get ruined. (Also see “Ice Packs” below.)

  • Over-the-counter pain relief: Usually your provider will give you OTC pain relief like acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen (Advil) in the hours after delivery. These are nice to have on-hand for when you get home from the hospital. I continued taking what my midwife instructed for at least a few days, then slowly decreased the frequency as I felt better. Especially if you had tearing from birth, this really helps with postpartum pain and soreness. (Again, just make sure to follow your provider’s recommendations on this.)

  • Witch hazel pads: Tucks - A friend recommended I get these for postpartum before I had Lucy, and even though I didn’t have hemorrhoids, I’m glad I bought them. I would just pat them gently on the perineum after going to the bathroom when I got home from the hospital. They have a cooling effect and help you heal if you had any tearing during birth. (These Frida Mom Cooling Pad Liners would be nice because they cover front to back and can just be worn on your pad—they are, however, a more expensive option.)

  • Numbing spray: Dermoplast pain relieving spray - I was given a bottle of Dermoplast at the hospital, but having an extra bottle or two is nice to have for when you get home. This spray has benzocaine (a topical numbing agent) to help numb the area. I sprayed it over my perineal area after going to the bathroom. (The Earth Mama Perineal Spray is cleaner, i.e. non-toxic, but doesn’t have the same numbing effect—it’s kind of like a clean combination between the witch hazel pads and the numbing spray. I might opt for this one this time.)

  • Perineal Washer: Peri Bottle - Since it’s recommended not to use toilet paper after birth, they give you a plastic bottle to fill with warm water and wash with for using the bathroom (á la a bidet). That’s all I used with Lucy, but this peri bottle does make it easier since the hospital ones don’t have the angled tip.

Optional

  • Donut: Frida Mom Donut Cushion or Dr. Frederick’s Original Donut Pillow - No, not the kind of donut you eat (unfortunately). These inflatable donut-shaped pillows help ease perineal discomfort when sitting after giving birth (because even sitting is uncomfortable). However, some OBs/midwives prefer you not to use one depending on if/where you had tearing, so just ask your provider after birth for her recommendations.

  • Sitz bath: up&up epsom salt - My midwife recommended that I take a sitz bath every day for the first week or so after giving birth to help with healing and pain relief. I simply filled the bath with warm water and mixed in the amount of unscented epsom salt she recommended. If you don’t have a bath or don’t want to take a bath, you can buy an over-the-toilet sitz bath and mix the same proportion of epsom salt to water.

  • Ice packs: Frida Mom Instant Ice Maxi Pads or ColPac Reusable Gel Ice Pack - In the hospital, I was provided with ice packs for my perineum. My PT recommended the reusable ice pack for your perineum or low abdomen, just place a towel between ice and skin. Or, you can use the genius Frida Mom invention of a maxi pad and ice pack all in one.

  • Clothing: Lululemon Wunder Under High Rise leggings or Athleta Ultra High Rise Elation Tight - If breastfeeding, see below for my recommendations, as this will drive most of what you wear, at least on top. On bottom, my pelvic floor physical therapist recommended these leggings specifically for postpartum to help hold in my belly without too much restriction (as a belly band would). Other than nursing-friendly tops/bras and these leggings, you just want to be comfortable, especially those first few weeks when all you do is feed and snuggle that new babe!

    • Headbands: 12 Piece Top Knot Satin Headbands or J.Crew headbands - Not at all necessary, but when you have a newborn and never have time to do your hair, headbands can make you looked pulled together in literally one second. Several months after birth you’ll also likely notice hair near your face has fallen out and started to grow back in as awkward-looking little wispy hairs, AKA “mom bangs”. Headbands work well to hide these. (The set of 12 headbands are roughly $1/headband but you get what you pay for… If you’re looking for something nicer, J.Crew’s are quite comfortable.)

What I wish I knew

  • Accept help - Whether that’s accepting meals from those who offer, allowing someone to watch your baby while you sleep, or letting someone at the grocery store help you with your bags down the road, it is both necessary and humbling to let yourself be loved by family, friends, and strangers alike.

  • Go slow! - The first week or so (maybe more?) when I would get a random energy burst I might start to get little things done—finally unpack our hospital bag, make the bed—and within 30 minutes I often felt lightheaded and suddenly exhausted. While this was disheartening, I learned quickly to listen to my body and sit down or rest when I felt that way.

  • Things get better - As I mentioned, I was unprepared for how hard postpartum would be initially. But a few weeks in postpartum make a huge difference! Every day I felt a little better, and each week I felt exponentially better. You will feel like yourself again, but those first few precious weeks (and months!) are a time to rest and enjoy the newborn snuggles.

Pelvic Floor Therapy

After I had Lucy, I was experiencing some of the postnatal symptoms that are deemed as “normal”. Thankfully, when I mentioned these at my postpartum appointment, instead of waving me off, my midwife gave me the name of a pelvic floor physical therapist and encouraged me to see her. While my symptoms (mild urinary incontinence and diastasis recti, or the “mom pooch”) weren’t severe and my midwife wasn’t concerned, she recognized that they were bothersome to me, and that’s what mattered. It took me almost nine months to finally go see a pelvic floor therapist, but as my PT told me when I got there, “Everyone comes at the right time.”

I had heard about the benefits of pelvic floor PT, but I was nervous to do something that was so, well, intimate. I also assumed that doing more kegels and pelvic floor (PF) exercises at home could eliminate my problems. But after my first session I was so glad I had decided to go. My PT, Emilee, put me at ease right away, clearly well versed in dealing with a topic that can make patients feel uncomfortable. After her initial evaluation, Emilee told me that my symptoms were due to a PF that was hypertonic, or too tense—that means kegels and PF exercises weren’t going to help me. I simply needed to work on intentionally relaxing my PF. After just a few visits and simple exercises to do at home, my symptoms already started to disappear.

Now pregnant again, I still see my PF therapist and believe all women need to (and should have the access to). My symptoms of mild urinary incontinence (especially when I worked out) and DR are common after birth, but that doesn’t mean they’re normal. They kept me from fully enjoying working out as I had before and hindered my self-confidence. But what truly astonished me was filling out a questionnaire at my first visit. Each question asked about a possible symptom and provided a scale to rate how severe it was. I couldn’t believe the severity of symptoms some women endure! While my symptoms were bothersome, they were minimal relative to what some women clearly deal with.

This made me realize that so many women don’t go to a PF therapist until their symptoms are extreme because of lack of access, lack of insurance coverage, or lack of education. Unfortunately, most women are taught to believe that their symptoms, even if mild, are just “normal” and an inevitable result of giving birth. While the latter might be true, all women should have access to postpartum PF care. If you experience any symptoms that you didn’t have before giving birth, I strongly encourage you to see a PF therapist if you can. It was the best postpartum decision I made to get back to feeling like myself—and all women deserve that.

Breastfeeding

My grandma kindly gave me The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding to read when I was pregnant with Lucy. We also took a breastfeeding class, and if you plan to breastfeed I would strongly recommend you do at least one of those. An understanding lactation consultant (like I had!) is an invaluable resource, but for those random, middle of the night questions KellyMom.com will be your go-to resource for everything breastfeeding related.

Clothing

  • Nursing bras - During pregnancy, your rib cage expands, so make sure to account for that when buying nursing bras. Also consider the fact that your postnatal breast size will likely be a cup size or two larger than your pre-pregnancy size. You’ll also want to avoid underwire in the first weeks to avoid getting clogged ducts or mastitis.

    • Daytime: Lively Maternity Bralette - I loved this bra thanks to it’s stretchy band (ahem, expanding rib cage), wireless cups, and cute style (most wireless nursing bras are so frumpy). It also comes in a “Busty” version. It doesn’t provide a ton of support or shape (most wireless nursing bras don’t) but for me that was fine, especially when you’re at home hanging the first weeks anyway. After six weeks or so, if you want something more shapely, I’d suggest an inexpensive bra like the Mother Maternity Underwire Nursing Bra, since nursing bras will get milk and spit-up on them. I actually ended up wearing nursing tanks most of the time (see below).

    • Nighttime: Bravado Designs Nursing Sleep Bra - As someone who had never worn a bra to bed in my life, I was very confused why friends recommended a sleep nursing bra. But they were right. Nighttime bras keep your nursing pads in place (see “nursing pads” below) to keep overnight leakage in check. This comfy sleep bra can easily be pulled down or to the side for nursing.

    • Sports bras: Kindred Bravely Nursing Sports Bra, Brooks Juno Sports Bra, or Milx Nursing & Pumping Sports Bra - I didn’t invest in nursing sports bras last time, which was fine (I just pulled up my regular sports bra when I needed to nurse) except for the fact that my pre-pregnancy sports bras were a little tight and not supportive enough for my larger chest. Friends have recommended the first two: Kindred Bravely for low impact and Brooks for high impact sports. The Milx bra, while a splurge, is a nursing and pumping-friendly sports bra, so you get more out of it.

  • Nursing tanks: Bravado Basics Maternity & Nursing Cami or Fafami Cotton Nursing Tank Top - I found the best and most inconspicuous way to dress for nursing was to wear a nursing tank under a top, and simply pull up your top and pull down one side of your nursing tank. That way, you’re still covered up but it’s super easy for you and baby, no special “nursing-friendly tops” or nursing cover acrobatics needed! The Bravado cami is my favorite—it can be used for nursing and worn during pregnancy (it’s long and stretchy), plus its padding is supportive and shapely enough to replace a bra for me.

  • Pumping bra/tank: Pump&Nurse Seamless Nursing and Pumping Cami - Much to my surprise, a breast pump doesn’t suction to you. While you can configure other ways to hold the flanges in place (cut holes in an old sports bra) I’d say just save yourself the trouble and get a pumping bra or tank, especially if you’ll be pumping even once a day. I wore this tank all.the.time because I could easily pump or nurse in it—much more wearable than other pumping bras, in my opinion!

  • Nursing cover: Copper Pearl Nursing & Car Seat Cover - This was convenient since I always had it with me, as I used it to cover Lucy’s car seat. But I felt it was not necessary as a nursing accessory—it was kind of hard for me to figure out at first and Lucy didn’t like being underneath as she got older. You can easily use a cotton muslin blanket (big, lightweight, breathable and double as burp cloths) draped over your shoulder. Again, I mostly just preferred the nursing tank pull-up/pull-down method rather than a fancy nursing cover.

  • Pajamas: I was gifted a long sleeve nursing nightshirt (here’s a less expensive version) with Lucy which I loved! For this baby I’d love some short-sleeve Lake pajamas (which have snaps) since it’ll be summer this time. However, it’s not necessary to buy specific pajamas since you can just pull up your pajama top super easily. However, it is helpful for middle-of-the-night feedings to have something that buttons, snaps, or zips down at the chest.

  • Nursing-friendly dresses: ASOS Maternity denim shirt dress - Most dresses are hard to nurse with, but dresses with buttons down the front (Boden has a ton of options), hidden zippers on the side, or tie shoulder straps are functional for nursing. Otherwise, you have to stick to tops/bottoms, or you’ll have to pull up or down your entire dress in order to be able to nurse/pump (been there…). I’ve linked some of my favorites below, but my denim one from ASOS is the chart-topper: maternity and nursing-friendly, cute, and affordable! (I have it and love it!)

Essentials

  • Nursing pads: Bamboobies reusable nursing pads or Lansinoh disposable nursing pads - I used both, usually the reusable ones at night and the disposable ones during the day. Early on, you leak between feedings so the nursing pads ensure that your bras don’t get wet (and thus prevent breast infections). The Bamboobies pack includes overnight and daytime pads—the overnight ones are just thicker as more time passes between feedings than during the day, so you may need more leakage protection.

    • Lansinoh Gel Cooling Nursing Pads - These are not an essential but are so nice to have in the first few days of breastfeeding as your nipples can become sore or cracked.

  • Nipple cream: Motherlove nipple cream or Lansinoh Lanolin cream - Rub this on your nipples after every nursing session to ensure your nipples don’t get cracked, dry, or infected. You don’t have to wash it off before nursing as both are non-toxic and safe for the baby to ingest. (You shouldn’t need this in your hospital bag as the hospital gave me Lansinoh, but definitely have some ready to go at home!)

  • Nursing pillow: Brest Friend Nursing Pillow - If you plan to breastfeed, I highly recommend registering for this nursing “pillow” (it’s more like a shelf that attaches to you!) rather than the Boppy, which I had originally and it just didn’t fit me right. After a ton of back pain and frustration, I decided to get the Brest Friend, which buckles around your torso and is much more firm than the Boppy, so it really helps hold up the baby so your back and arms don’t get so tired.

  • Haakaa - This gadget was also recommended by several mom friends. It easily suctions to one breast while you’re nursing on the other so it catches your letdown. It’s a great way to build up a small stash of breast milk for baby. (To be clear: This is not a breast pump or replacement for one!)

  • Water bottle - You get so thirsty while breastfeeding, so having a water bottle that only requires one hand to drink (with a spout or straw) is a must. I filled it up after every nursing session so I made sure it was full for the next time I needed it.

  • Snacks - Breastfeeding moms burn a lot of calories and can get ravenous suddenly and often. Having easy snacks like trail mix packs, healthy bars, and apple or orange slices available throughout your home is really helpful (see below about “nursing stations”). A friend brought me a few dozen homemade energy bites as a “postpartum care package” which was a great gift. I ended up making them myself to have on-hand (and you can easily add Brewer’s Yeast to make them into lactation bites, too).

  • Nursing stations: It is so very helpful to have little boxes or baskets anywhere you nurse around the house filled with your nursing essentials—snacks, nipple cream, nursing pads, chapstick and a burp cloth. At least one upstairs and one downstairs is a must.

Pumping

  • Breast pump: Spectra S2 - Several friends told me they used the Medela pump with their first child and Spectra with their second and they much preferred the Spectra, so that was reason enough for me. **Most insurances cover breast pumps, and Byram Healthcares’s website couldn’t make it any easier to order yours through your insurance!** My one tip is to figure out how to use it before the first time you need to pump to save yourself a lot of tears and stress (been there, too). (See note above in “clothing” on pumping bra/tank)

  • Milk storage bags/containers: Medela Breast Milk Storage Bags or Medela Breast Milk Storage Bottles - If you are going to have a lot of milk saved up or have a small freezer, I would suggest storage bags, as they are more compact. But if not, storage bottles work fine for milk in the fridge or freezer. You can also get storage bottles that are compatible with your pump so you can pump right into them rather than transferring the milk from pump to storage bottle each time (these supposedly are compatible with the Spectra S2 pump; however, I just transferred pumped milk into the Medela storage bottles or glass jars).

  • Pump parts sanitizing bag: Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags - Cleaning pump parts is a pain, but *you can leave the pump parts in the fridge for about three days!* A friend told me this and it literally saved my sanity as I was pumping all the time. But after you do clean the pump parts with soap and water, these micro-steam bags make it fast and easy to sanitize them. One bag can be used 20 times, and there are 12 bags in a pack.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there! This is the kind of post I wish I’d had when I was a new mom, so please pass it on to new or expectant mamas. May this post remind us all to reach out to postpartum and breastfeeding moms to see how they’re doing or offer our support in whatever way we can. I’m also sending extra love, peace, and prayers for those whom this holiday is hard—women suffering infertility or miscarriage, moms who’ve lost children, children who’ve lost moms, and for those with strained relationships with their moms.

 
 

Professional photos: By Haley Rose

Baby Favorites

Baby #2 is on the way!

Well, here I am already starting the third trimester of my second pregnancy! It seems a little late to be sharing it, but for those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram, you may not have heard that we are expecting our second child in July! Possibly because my first trimester was spent under wraps, in the winter (and quite nauseous) and the second trimester was largely in quarantine due to the coronavirus pandemic—or maybe because I’ve been focused on a lively toddler this time ‘round—this pregnancy seems to have gone by surprisingly quickly.

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Gearing up for baby

So as we gear up (literally) for the arrival of Baby #2, I’m reminded of the overwhelming feeling of what it was like to acquire everything we needed when pregnant with Lucy. It felt like there was so much that we (supposedly) needed for a baby—and there were countless options to choose from for each item. This time, we already have much of what we need, but there are some items we have to buy (a double stroller) or purchase a second time (another crib). Remembering the overwhelm of registering for our first child, and having been asked by many about our baby registry picks, I figured I would share them here, where all can benefit from them. It’s a good time to share our favorite baby items, as it hasn’t been long since I had my first baby and I’m pregnant again, pouring over the world of baby products. I remember well what we used, loved, and wished we’d had, but I’ve removed any items from this list that we didn’t need and updated ones we didn’t love.

 
 

Be mindful of whose recommendations you follow

All that being said, what one family needs is different than others depending on their style, priorities, and budget. Our product picks point to our parenting priorities of simplicity, sleep, and clean living. Babies do require a lot of stuff, so our baby registry reflects an effort to keep the amount of extra “things” we acquire to a minimum. You’ll quickly find that I do opt for more than the bare necessities when it comes to sleep; I believe sleep for the whole family helps us to be our best selves, so it’s something I’m willing to invest in. Even more now since having Lucy, I care about choosing non-toxic or “clean” options for my kiddos—not just for products they put on their bodies (like soap and lotion) but also for items in their environment where they spend a lot of time (like a crib and mattress). While I’m certainly not an expert on clean living, I do try to make it a priority for our family—because I’ve seen the effects first-hand of doing so.

Look for upcoming posts all about my favorite parenting resources (books, online classes, etc.) and one just for mamas, all about postpartum and breastfeeding essentials—not something to be overlooked!


(*) = Most loved/MVP (+) = Change or addition since having Lucy

Sleep

  • Sound machine: Yogasleep Portable White Noise Machine(*) This is the number one product recommendation I give to new mamas. A sound machine is a must (actually). It drowns out other noise in the home and reminds the baby of the womb, where the ambient noise is as loud as a vacuum cleaner! Silence is unfamiliar to them. This one is rechargeable and portable, so you can easily take it on trips, use it in the car, or on the go (we put it on a low setting at church when Lucy was a newborn!).

  • Taking Cara Babies online newborn sleep class(*) While this is more of a resource than a baby product (full post on parenting resources to come) I’m including it because I think it was that helpful for us. This is not sleep training—it is a no-cry approach to helping you lay a strong foundation for baby sleep. The class helped us learn the difference between Lucy’s sleep and feeding cues, thus helping us get to know her better and be better, more attuned parents to her. I’ve gifted it to other new mamas because I was such a fan of the class (and of sleep for the whole family!).

  • Swaddles: SwaddleMe Original velcro swaddles & HALO Sleepsack Swaddle - We had way more luck keeping Lucy swaddled in these easy-to-use, self-closing swaddles versus using a regular muslin/cotton blanket (often still called a “swaddle”—though those are nice to use as true blankets or even burp cloths). I recommend any self-enclosing swaddle for sleep until the baby can roll (about three months). The Ollie Swaddle allows you to keep the baby swaddled during middle of the night diaper changes, it’s just a more expensive option.

  • Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit(*) This was highly recommended by several friends, and I can see why! The sleep suit looks hilarious but is a great transitional sleep tool for babies once they can roll over (i.e. can’t be swaddled) because it keeps them from rolling onto their bellies and getting frustrated because they’re getting stuck there.

  • Sleep sacks: Halo and Aden + Anais are the ones we’ve used (the Halo swaddle above can also be used as a sleep sack), but I think any sleep sack will do once they graduate from the Merlin Suit (or swaddle). Like the swaddle and sleep suit, it helps cue babies that it’s time to sleep, and safely keeps them warm since you can’t use blankets in the crib the first year.

  • Pacifiers: Bibs(+) Lucy used Avent Soothies but I’m switching to Bibs for this baby because they are safer (non-toxic) and I want something that’s in their mouth so often to be safe.

  • Monitor: Infant Optics - You can add multiple cameras to the system so we only have to buy a camera rather than a whole additional monitor for the new baby. (You don’t need a camera monitor; an audio monitor does the job! We were gifted this one.)

  • Owlet Smart Sock Monitor - This is definitely not a necessity; it’s a pulse-oximeter that straps to the baby’s foot while sleeping and will alarm if the levels dip (thus aimed to prevent SIDS or other tragedies). We splurged on this (although we got a huge discount on Black Friday!) because it gave us the peace of mind we needed to sleep.


Feeding

  • Nursing Pillow: Brest Friend Nursing Pillow(*) If you plan to breastfeed, I highly recommend registering for this nursing “pillow” (it’s more like a shelf that attaches to you!) rather than the Boppy (which I had originally and it just didn’t provide much support—I was better off with a few pillows). After a ton of back pain and frustration, I decided to get the Brest Friend, which buckles around your torso and is much more firm than the Boppy, so it really helps hold up the baby so your back and arms don’t get so tired.

  • Nursing necessities: I have a full forthcoming post about this! Definitely check back if you plan to breastfeed because there are a lot of essentials that will make you more comfortable and make your life a lot easier as a nursing mom.

  • Bottles: Lucy didn’t take a bottle for the first couple months but ended up using Dr. Brown’s. For this reason I would actually get bottles from different brands (borrow from friends! use freebies from registry gift boxes, or buy a sample pack) since you don’t know which brand of bottle/nipple your baby will prefer. Then buy more of your baby’s preferred brand later.

  • Pump: Spectra S2- Several friends told me they used the Medela pump with their first child and Spectra with their second and they much preferred the Spectra, so that was reason enough for me. **Most insurances cover breast pumps, and Byram Healthcares’s website(*) couldn’t make it any easier to order yours through your insurance!**

  • High chair: IKEA Antilop(*) I cannot recommend this enough! For $20 you get a simple, easy-to clean, and non-toxic high chair (and without all the baby designs that ruin the aesthetic of your dining space, ha!). One of the best baby finds out there.

  • Bibs: We used the IKEA Kladdig smocks for the first 6+ months since babies are such messy eaters. This reduced the amount of laundry we had to do significantly! Once she got older we switched to Nightingale silicone bibs with a food catcher that are easy to wipe clean.

  • Food splat mat: A mat to put under your baby’s high chair saves you from having to vacuum all the time and saves your floor/rug from spills. We use this one from Alnoor but if I could go back I’d get one that’s easier to wipe clean—like this plastic one from Nuby, or if I could splurge I’d love to get this leather one from Gathre, which can be used as a play mat, beach towel, or picnic blanket.

On-the-go

  • Jogger: Bob Rambler Jogging Stroller(*) This is actually the only stroller we bought for Lucy—no umbrella stroller or “regular” stroller. If you plan to run or jog with your baby in tow, it’s hard to beat the Bob, and I would argue that (like us) this is the only stroller you’ll need. Sure, it’s not the most compact or convenient, but it still fits in your trunk and certainly does the job on errands, in the airport, etc. (If you take public transportation or don’t have a car, however, you might find a more compact stroller is preferable.) Just make sure you get the appropriate car seat adaptor for the newborn stage!

  • Stroller: City Select (convertible) stroller(+) As I said, we only had a jogger with Lucy, which I’m glad about since now we need a double stroller. I want one that can easily still fit through doorways on errands, so a convertible stroller (rather than a side-by-side double) is definitely a must for me this time. If you plan to get a “normal” stroller for your first, this is a great option because—although it’s pricier than most single strollers—it grows with your family to fit up to three kids (with second seat and glider board add-ons). While we haven’t purchased it yet, this one has great reviews (online and from friends), plus I love that it allows you to convert it to whatever configuration your season of life (or time of day) requires (just don’t forget the appropriate car seat adaptor).

  • Car seat: Graco SnugRide SnugLock 30 - Once you put the car seat base into the car, the car seat itself easily clicks into the base every time—so easy! Plus you can buy Graco car seat adapters for most strollers so that you can take the baby in the stroller from day one (so nice for going right from car to stroller without waking them—it just clicks right in!). We also bought a second base off Facebook marketplace so that we could easily take the car seat in either of our cars. Most babies fit an infant car seat for the first year, and then you upgrade them to a more upright car seat that grows with them.

  • Carrier: Ergobaby Omni 360 and Solly Baby Wrap - Both carriers work for newborns and babies up to 25lbs (about the first year) and accommodate forward and backward-facing, so only one is necessary. I liked the Solly wrap for Lucy when she was a newborn and the Ergo for 3+ months, and I plan to do the same with this baby. But at least one carrier that can hold a baby the entire first year is a must! (Of note: the Ergo 360 allows you to wear the baby on your back, too.)

  • Portable Crib: Graco Pack ‘n’ Play - Good to have for travel (you can check these for free on most airlines) and for guests with babies or toddlers who visit you. Also has bassinet insert so can be used as bassinet early on (see “Nursery” section below).

  • Sunblock: Babo Botanicals - If you know me personally, you know I’m a freak about wearing sunblock (I get it from my mama!). But protecting that sensitive new baby skin is more important than ever! (You can bet I’m thinking about this since I’m having a July baby.) Thankfully this sunblock is completely non-toxic (it scored “0” on the Think Dirty app) and comes in a spray, cream, and stick so it’s easy to apply to kiddos (but Anthony and I use it, too).

  • Car Mirror: Britax Backseat Mirror - This is admittedly not a necessity, but I will say it is very helpful. Especially for parents who are driving their little one around by themselves most of the time, it’s nice to be able to look in your rearview mirror and see if your babe is sleeping, and for her to see you and know you’re still there as she gets older and more aware (since babies have to face backwards).

Diapering & Bathing

  • Diaper bag: Fawn Design(*) I was adamant about not having a diaper bag that looked like a diaper bag, and the option to carry it as a backpack (in addition to over the shoulder) was extra-appealing to me. Water-resistant, wipes clean, lots of pockets, super stylish, and Anthony can wear it seamlessly, too. A splurge for a diaper bag, but it was Anthony’s third anniversary (the “leather” anniversary) gift to me when we were first expecting Lucy! (They are having a 35% off sale right now too—great for Mother’s Day!)

  • Portable changing station: Munchkin Diaper Change Kit - Ours folds up nicely and has a place for wipes and a few diapers, but the key is a wipeable changing pad for diaper changes on-the-go. If you want something that takes up minimal room in your diaper bag, then a simple, easy-wipe changing pad is all you need (this one also functions as a liner—see below).

  • Diapers: Up&Up - Not totally non-toxic, like Honest diapers, but they work extremely well and are on the cheaper end of the spectrum for diapers.

  • Baby wipes: WaterWipes - I wanted something with minimal ingredients and definitely unscented, so water wipes were an easy choice, with only 99.9% water and a drop of fruit extract.

  • Changing pad: We have both the Munchkin and the Summer Infant (one upstairs and one downstairs—I highly recommend a changing station on each floor) and the Summer Infant stays in place much better and is cheaper—no-brainer! (If you don’t care about looks or having a cute changing pad cover like I did, a wipe-clean changing pad requires no cover and is easy to clean, just pricier.)

  • Changing pad cover: We have the Burt’s Bees and Little Unicorn covers (I liked the colors/designs), but I would definitely recommend adding waterproof changing pad liners for the newborn stage (first three months). These protect your cotton cover and keep you from having to wash it all the time when there are inevitable diaper blowouts or mid-change accidents. We used the Munchkin Waterproof Liners, but I am considering getting one from Meerkatto because it is silicone so it’s even easier to clean (just wipe, no washing needed).

  • Diaper pail: Ubbi - This was highly recommended by friends, but to be honest, I’ve been disappointed that it doesn’t lock in smells better, especially considering the price. I’ve heard good things about the Dekor one, so I’d probably get that if I could go back (especially considering the price difference).

  • Diaper cream: Honest Diaper Cream - Non-toxic and works well, but we do use Boudreaux’s Maximum Strength Butt Paste for extra bad rashes—it’s not totally clean but works in a flash!

  • Baby Bath: Puj Tub or Summer Infant Sponge Bath - The Puj Tub is non-toxic and fits in most sinks, so it’s easier on your back (standing versus sitting) when you’re so involved bathing a newborn. If you’re looking for a super-budget option that fits in a tub, the $9 Summer Infant sponge bath works perfectly well—it’s what we switched Lucy to when she outgrew the Puj Tub, but you could use it with a newborn, too.

  • Baby soap: Branch Basics Foaming Wash or Puracy Natural Baby Bubble Bath(+) We used Burt’s Bees Baby Bath with Lucy, until I recently discovered that despite being fairly safe toxin-wise, it has “natural fragrance” listed as an ingredient. Unfortunately, even “natural” fragrances are vague catchalls that are unregulated by the FDA so I avoid anything listing “fragrance” as an ingredient. Now, we use these two. Don’t get me started about my beloved, completely non-toxic, Branch Basics (you can use it from everything from laundry detergent to body wash!) but if you want something safely scented, the Puracy Bubble Bath is scented with lavender essential oil and vanilla bean (I actually use this as my body wash).

  • Lotion: Honest All-Purpose Balm(+) We use Honest Lavender Face + Body Lotion for Lucy, which is clean and we’ll use for the baby when s/he gets older. Even though the lavender is safely scented via essential oil, I prefer completely unscented products for newborns because they are so sensitive to scents and such. The Honest All-Purpose Balm is both clean and unscented.

Nursery

  • Bassinet: Graco Pack ‘n’ Play(+) With Lucy we used the infamous Rock & Play (rather than a true bassinet) for sleep until she was three months old, but those have since been recalled. With this baby, we plan to use the bassinet insert of our Graco Pack ‘n’ Play (mentioned above in “On-the-go”) and just push it up next to my side of the bed. While some people prefer to have designated bassinets for newborns, this set-up allows us to save money, have fewer products, and it’s easy for travel—win, win, win!

  • Crib: DaVinci Jenny Lind 3-in-1 crib(+) The crib we have for Lucy is a gently used hand-me-down, and since she still sleeps in it we have to get a second one for the baby. We picked this one because it is mostly made from real wood (less toxic than particle board), free of thousands of harmful chemicals, yet is relatively inexpensive for a crib. We opted for a crib that can convert to a toddler bed (hence the “3-in-1” name) so Lucy can sleep in it when she’s ready for that.

  • Crib mattress: Naturepedic organic mattress(+) Lucy’s mattress is also a hand-me-down, so we didn’t have to choose one for her. Since babies spend so much time sleeping on these (and because our bodies absorb so many toxins while we sleep) I wanted one that was organic and non-toxic. This one is the cheapest I could find that fits that category, but is still certified by Made Safe, a nonprofit company who provides certification for non-toxic products.

  • Sheet: Burt’s Bees - Again, for something that the babies spend so much time on, using an organic cotton crib sheet is something I value. These are so soft and are much cheaper than many organic (and non-organic) cotton brands. The “Sky Blue” is such a light color that I consider it gender neutral—I use it for Lucy and will buy more for this baby.


Professional photos: By Haley Rose

"More Than Breastmilk Can Provide"

Late in our struggle to conceive, I had the most vivid dream that I was nursing a baby girl. But when I woke up, reality came crashing down. I remember that feeling of waking up, and just for a split second, thinking that was my life. I remember feeling devastated that I might never get to breastfeed a baby—my baby.

I think it was partially because of that dream that I was so excited about the opportunity to breastfeed my baby when we finally got pregnant. I read La Leche League’s The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (my grandma had sweetly purchased a copy for her granddaughters to use one day and I was the first to use it!) and Anthony and I took a local breastfeeding class taught by a doula. I talked to friends who had recently had babies about their experience breastfeeding and asked them for advice. Though I was aware—after all my “studying”—that breastfeeding often was not as easy and natural as I had perceived it to be, I still felt excited and prepared, armed with support and resources (and lots of nipple cream).

Lucy was finally born and started nursing as I had hoped. One month in and breastfeeding was going great—of course, not without the inevitable discomfort of my milk coming in, a steep learning curve for Lucy and me, and the backaches from leaning over too much—but in general, she was eating like a champ and I was feeling more and more confident about this whole breastfeeding thing. Having learned that the first month is usually the hardest for breastfeeding moms, I assumed I was well on my way to meet my goal of breastfeeding Lucy for one year.

That all changed when Lucy was around six weeks old. Suddenly, she stopped eating well and seemed frustrated when she nursed. Lucy would pull away from me after a few minutes of breastfeeding, turning her head away and refusing the other side, yet she still showed clear signs of hunger immediately afterward. The first doctor’s visit deemed Lucy was fine, and chalked up her behavior to getting more efficient at nursing. Unfortunately though, Lucy’s behavior around nursing continued like this for a few more weeks. Although I knew I would seem like an overly anxious first time mom, I trusted my motherly instincts and went back to the doctor’s office. This visit showed what I had known in my gut to be true—Lucy had lost weight, which can be worrisome and even dangerous for a newborn.

The next couple months were the hardest I’ve yet to experience as a parent. Lucy’s resistance around nursing only got worse, to the point of completely refusing to nurse altogether. At the time, she still did not like taking a bottle either, so we would have to wait until she was half asleep to feed her. The doctor treated Lucy for silent reflux, but that didn’t seem to help much. My fear of Lucy not eating or gaining weight snowballed into full blown anxiety, which certainly didn’t help the situation either. Per the doctor’s orders, we went in for almost weekly weight checks for Lucy. Per my lactation consultant’s recommendation, I was pumping six times a day in addition to nursing her, just to keep my milk supply up in case Lucy did start nursing better again. No one could figure out what was causing Lucy’s sudden change in eating patterns.

Despite the difficulty during this time, I learned so much about God’s love for me. Every time Lucy turned away from me when I went to nurse her, I felt like I got a tiny glimpse of how God must feel about me so much of the time. Doing everything He can to pour out His love for me and show me how much He loves me—to the point of dying on a cross. And yet some days I don’t even look at Him or talk to Him; I seem unaware or uninterested in the love He so desperately is trying to show me. It was a lesson for me about how God actively, not passively, pursues us and loves us. All He longs for is for us to receive that love from Him—just like all I wanted was for Lucy to receive the love I was trying to give her via breastfeeding.

When Lucy was three months old, after two months of this runaround, I was at my wit’s end. Nursing was always a huge ordeal, met with screaming and crying. On a friend’s suggestion, I decided to take Lucy to a chiropractor, which I was told could help with her resistance to nurse. This seemed to help, but progress wasn’t immediate. Although Lucy still wasn’t a fan of the bottle (she wasn’t really a fan of eating at all, somehow) I knew that physically and mentally, I couldn’t keep nursing Lucy if her eating habits (or lack thereof) continued.

I went to see my lactation consultant as one last hurrah to try to make nursing work. Just as puzzled as I was, she didn’t have any nursing advice for me. But what she did have to say was much more important than any breastfeeding help she could have provided. “Look at how many times you’ve been in here,” she started. “You’ve done everything you possibly can to try to make breastfeeding work. You’re trying to figure out what’s going on for her, and she can see and feel that. By trying to figure out what’s going on rather than force her to nurse when she’s upset, you’ve taught her trust.” Tears started to well in my eyes. “You’ve been an incredibly attentive mom; you know her better than anyone else. You’ve shown her what it means to love—and that’s way more than breastmilk can provide.”

“You know your baby better than anyone else. You’ve shown her what it means to love—and that’s way more than breastmilk can provide.”

I’ll never forget those words. Soon after this, something changed (we still don’t know what) and Lucy started nursing better again and taking a bottle well. I’m so thankful that breastfeeding worked out for us, as I cherish every quiet moment together that’s just ours. But whether it had worked out or not, my lactation consultant was right. Breastfeeding is wonderful for those who are able to do so, and there are plenty of benefits of breastmilk. But regardless of how a mother feeds her baby, the food that baby receives will never parallel the love and trust that a mother can instill in her child—no matter how she feeds him.

With a little grace,

Kelsey

If you are going through a difficult time breastfeeding your little one, please feel free to reach out to me via Instagram DM or via my contact page. I had so much support from several friends who were currently or recently breastfeeding and it made such a tremendous difference to have their encouragement—and their support if I needed to stop nursing. I spent a lot of time on Google and in the doctor’s office trying to figure out what was going on with Lucy, so I can at least stand with you in solidarity and empathy.

Thank you to my incredibly talented cousin, Haley, of By Haley Rose for all of these special photos!

Our Journey to Fertility

Here it is! The post many of you have been waiting for. I’ve been meaning to write this for months, and finally, on December 18, I sat down and spent the day writing it… Lucy must have known it was checked off my list, because my water broke that night!

Enjoy, and please feel free to reach out to me if you have more questions about my experience.

Five months ago, I shared the exciting news that Anthony and I were pregnant, and described the emotional, spiritual, and just a glimpse of the physical journey it took us to get there. In that post, I promised to write a more detailed post dedicated to our physical journey to fertility. Here I am, in my ninth month of pregnancy, just 10 days away from our due date, finally writing about our journey toward healing and the book that led us there—WomanCode by Alisa Vitti.

First of all, credit for how I even heard about this book goes out to the Holy Spirit—or the “sneaky Holy Spirit” as Anthony calls Him.

It was the last day of February, and I found out I wasn’t pregnant, once again. We had been struggling to conceive for almost a year, and we were heartbroken and feeling a bit hopeless. Looking for a glimmer of hope, I randomly reached out to a friend (who also was struggling to conceive) who had mentioned a while ago to let her know if I needed a recommendation for a fertility doctor. I didn’t, but I was desperate. In her kind, extremely helpful response, she didn’t actually mention a doctor (which I didn’t actually need at that point). She pointed to the book WomanCode, by Alisa Vitti, and described some of the concepts from the book. (I didn’t know it at the time, but this friend was very newly pregnant, thanks to WomanCode!).

I emphasize all of this because, in hindsight, it made no logical sense to reach out to my friend. Yes, I was desperate, but I didn’t need another fertility doctor (which is what I thought she would provide). We already had two separate Catholic OB-Gyn doctors—one in Chicago who is a NaPro technologist, and one who worked with us remotely via FEMM health—whom we felt very comfortable with and who were helping us take pro-life (i.e. no IVF) approaches to try to conceive. Additionally, I knew this friend had also been trying to conceive, but I had no idea she was already pregnant—so I didn’t know that anything she recommended would actually work. She also had mentioned this to me six months ago—why did I randomly think about it and decide to take her up on her offer now ? Finally, I didn’t actually know this friend that well! We met through Instagram and had only hung out a few times, so reaching out to her like this was all the more unusual.

When I thought about all of this much later, I realized it was, without a doubt, the Holy Spirit that had nudged me to text my friend, despite all these illogical reasons to do so. So, like every good thing in this world, our healing came through God and His wondrous work. In fact, for all those who say that faith and science oppose each other, this is an example of how God used science—the human body, His very creation—to heal me. He led me to this beautiful book that would provide me with the knowledge and power to heal my infertility by eating and living the way He intended our bodies to.

So, what is this WomanCode?

I truly wish every woman would read this amazing book. Whether you are trying to get pregnant or not, whether you have a reproductive health condition (such as endometriosis or PCOS) or not, whether you have terrible PMS symptoms or not, Vitti’s WomanCode protocol is for you (and no, this is not sponsored). (I didn't have any diagnosable condition or known reason why I wasn't getting pregnant, and Vitti’s book is geared toward those who do and don't know why they are having reproductive issues.) Yes, the book outlines a natural protocol that can help with all of these issues, but this way of living also can help with less serious issues—like acne and insomnia—to more serious issues like chronic anxiety or depression. Further, this way of living can help prevent serious chronic diseases like cancer, heart disease, and more. Plus, it's free, it's good for your overall, long-term health, and it's non-invasive. 

I know—it sounds too good to be true. I was the farthest thing from believing this stuff. How can changing what I eat, put on my body, or have in my environment actually make that big of a difference? To be honest, if I were reading this post a year ago, I probably would have thought this is a bunch of hippie baloney. I bought the book because I was looking for hope to what seemed like a hopeless situation. But I bought into the book and actually implemented the protocol because the science and reasoning actually made complete sense. I won’t go into the science in this post, but the author does so in a very digestible way that is easy for any reader to understand. (To be honest, I’m not an avid reader myself, and even I thought it was an easy read that I managed to read while in grad school—so that’s saying something.)

While I can’t describe Vitti’s whole protocol in this post (that’s why it’s a book) I will share the main pieces of the protocol that I implemented. There are so many tenets and tidbits of Vitti’s protocol, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the changes you could (or “should”) be making. Vitti stresses the importance of implementing these tenets one at time. While I was eager to see results (i.e. a baby!) Anthony reminded me that these changes are meant to be lifelong; doing something consistently over time is better than getting overwhelmed from trying to implement all of it at once (and then giving up).

1) Controlled my blood sugar

Vitti recommends eating breakfast within 90 minutes of waking up and then eating a meal or snack every 2.5 to 3.5 hours throughout the day. She specifies what types of foods (fats, carbs, protein) to focus on at which meals. For instance, breakfast should contain the most carbs (no more than 30 grams) we eat throughout the day because we have all day to burn them off. Lunch should be our biggest meal (not dinner!) and contain one complex carbohydrate (i.e. beans or vegetables like sweet potatoes) and a healthy fat (i.e. avocados or EVOO). The mid-afternoon snack should be nutrient rich to keep you full until dinner. Vitti recommends dinner should be mostly protein and veggies and largely avoid other carbs. She also has a three-day cleanse described in the book that I did once I got the hang of these lifestyle changes.

I used a note in my phone (screenshot below) as a shorthand version of Vitti’s diet recommendations. Some people I know don’t like anything where they have to “track” something—you certainly don’t have to. Being type A, I used this note to remind me what kind of foods to eat at which meals, the time I had eaten, and roughly how many grams of fiber I ate at each meal (see next point). The water droplet emojis showed me how many cups of water I had drank. If this stresses you out, do not use it! I simply share it because I found it helpful—it is certainly not necessary, though.

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2) Increased my daily fiber intake to 35g per day

Long story short, fiber acts as a sponge for excess estrogen and other toxins (which throw off our hormonal balance) to flush them out of your system—Vitti explains this fully in the book. We need 25 to 35g of fiber per day, but most people only get 9 to 10g of fiber per day! I reached the recommended 35g of fiber per day without fiber supplements by starting my day with a fiber packed smoothie: frozen fruits (raspberries have the highest fiber content per serving) and frozen peas (also very fibrous) or frozen kale, coconut water, natural peanut butter for taste, chia seeds (lots of fiber per serving), ground flaxseed, and maca (not matcha) powder. It tastes fine, and gets you a lot of fiber to start the day! Just make sure you're drinking lots of water, too (I drank two cups of water as soon as I woke up). For snacks, I would eat lots of veggies (sweet potatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts), beans, and nuts. I also ate “avocado toast” on these extremely fibrous “crackers” called "GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbread". Basically, they are large “crackers” that taste like nothing filled with tons of fiber per serving (sounds appetizing, I know). Other than avocados and olive oil, sometimes I put natural peanut or almond butter on them, or even mozzarella cheese and a couple pepperoni slices and baked them in the oven for a few minutes. For dinner, I usually ate a smaller version of what I’d eat for lunch—protein, whole grains, and lots of veggies. See my Fiber Pinterest page, or look up Tanya Zuckerbrot’s Instagram or her “F-Factor recipes” for more ideas on how to stock up on fiber.

3) Limited refined sugar

This relates to step #1, but Vitti highly recommends cutting out refined sugar, i.e. carbs that are not whole grains (so white breads, white rice, etc.) and of course, sweets. I thought this would be so hard for me because I love sweets, but I was so motivated to have a baby that I literally cut out anything that had added sugar! I admit, I’m not this strict anymore, but I really do try to limit my refined sugar, as it affects our blood sugar (step #1) and therefore our hormones.

Check nutrition labels for “added sugar” and check ingredient lists for “sugar” or “corn syrup” or something of the like. You’ll be shocked how many things we don’t associate with sugar that have added sugars including ketchup, BBQ sauce, most cereals, and more. However, natural sugar is fine—so fruit, honey, dates, or real maple syrup can be consumed or used as sweeteners. I made “energy balls” that were naturally sweetened with one of the above, and got my sugar fix that way. (I will post the recipes to the two energy balls I make later)

4) Switched to “clean” or “nontoxic” beauty and household products

This one can seem a bit daunting at first. Most mainstream brands of products we put on our skin, hair, or use to clean any part of our home can actually disrupt our hormone balance (which deems them “toxic”). This includes almost any beauty product you buy at Sephora or a drug store, and most household products. The good news is that every product has a “clean” or nontoxic alternative, but making the switch requires intentionality. I used the apps Think Dirty and EWG’s Healthy Living on my phone to look up products I owned to see if they were toxic or not. If so, when I ran out of a “toxic” product I would buy a new, clean alternative.

In short, “clean” means it doesn't have a lot of common ingredients that can be hormone disruptors (parabens, ethanolamines, BHA & BHT, sodium lauryl sulfate, phthalates, and polyethylene glycol (PEG) compounds are the heavy hitters). For household products, Seventh Generation is a reliable brand, but I cannot recommend Branch Basics enough (you can use this link to get $10 off)! For cosmetics, the stores Follain and Credo offer only clean, nontoxic options, as well as the brands Honest Beauty and BeautyCounter, and almost any beauty or household products you buy at Whole Foods.

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Since doing a massive overhaul of all these products can be expensive and overwhelming, I’ve partnered with Follain, who is offering 50% off and free shipping their “Clean Essentials Kit” (seen here) with code ref_uxwpxx (which means you get it for $11!). This is a starter kit which features a skin cleanser, toner, and cream, plus an all-purpose soap. So many friends have asked me where to start when replacing beauty/skin products, and this is my recommendation. An affordable option, with four products I love, but small enough sizes that if you don’t like them, you’re not committed to using them for the next few months. Follain is also offering 15% off your entire purchase with code ref15_9dpiwa so if there are other products outside this starter kit that you want to try, you still don’t have to break the bank making the switch.

(I wrote a Verily magazine article that was just published specifically about how I made the switch to non-toxic products. You can also check out my Pinterest page all about clean products. Major shout-out to my sister Molly for originally informing me about the toxicity of mainstream products and always being my go-to gal for non-toxic recommendations and knowledge!)

5) Slowed Down

Another vital lifestyle change Vitti recommends is to slow down in life. I had a busy grad school schedule, and wasn't getting enough sleep or rest. Like many of us, I was always on the go, cramming studying/activities/work/social events into just about every free second I had. I barely took the time to chew my food—which is literally a problem that Vitti cautions against! In addition to teaching readers to eat more slowly (take 10-30 chews per bite—what!), Vitti has a whole chapter on emotional boundaries, which I had to learn to implement (and since, have written a Verily magazine article about!). For me, this looked like learning to say no to friends or activities, literally slowing down my life, and taking things out of my life that caused me stress or anxiety (as much as possible—I still had capstone projects and papers due). Additionally, I started getting to bed by 10pm and getting at least eight hours of sleep. To help with that, I set my phone to go on “Do Not Disturb” from 10pm to 7am every day, so I wouldn’t even see texts or calls that came in during that time (this setting even accounts for emergencies). This helped me sleep by getting the light of my phone out of my face, as well as not worrying about responding to texts, etc. during that time.

Vitti explains that this step is really important for normalizing our adrenal glands, which are often burnt out by staying up late, not getting enough sleep, and going, going, going in general. This, in turn, severely affects our hormones. The hormone panel I had done actually confirmed that I did indeed have “adrenal fatigue,” as Vitti calls it, so slowing down—both chewing my food and in life—was a crucial step for me on my journey to fertility.

6) Switched to decaf coffee

Another factor that contributes to adrenal fatigue, according to Vitti, is caffeine consumption. Vitti explains the science behind it much better than I can, but it all made perfect sense to me. So I switched my daily cup(s) of coffee to decaf coffee (she actually says no coffee at all, but I love it too much). Some days, though, I completely replaced my morning coffee to a cup of hot water with fresh lemon. It is so delicious (and good for your hormonal health) and something I came to love and crave!

7) Started flossing religiously

Okay, I’m a little embarrassed to admit I wasn’t already flossing every single day, especially considering that my mother-in-law is a dental hygienist! But the truth is, like most of us, I wasn’t religious about flossing every day—which I changed immediately. Vitti explains how our oral hygiene affects fertility specifically, so she recommends flossing daily and making sure you are up to date on your dental visits. It’s one of the changes that is easy to implement right away, so why not? (Bonus, my teeth look so much whiter these days from flossing religiously!)

I’ll stress again that making any of these changes takes effort, and seeing results takes time. Like Vitti, I recommend implementing only one of these tips at a time. Once it becomes engrained, then try to add in another step. Taking on too much at once only sets us up for failure—we become overwhelmed, and then quit. Take on only how much is manageable. And remember, small changes kept over the long haul are better than taking on everything at once, becoming overwhelmed, then quitting. I also want to emphasize that while I believe wholeheartedly in this protocol, every body is different; your hormone levels and exact reproductive issues are different than mine were. I can’t guarantee that if you do exactly what I did you will have the exact same success or it will happen in the same amount of time. Instead, I recommend making any changes with the idea that you will maintain them throughout your life, rather than thinking of them like medication—a means to an end. I certainly didn’t expect to be pregnant in less than two months from starting the WomanCode protocol—I expected to be in it for the long haul. Try to be patient with your body and these changes. Please reach out to me if you have any other questions. I continue to pray for all those suffering from infertility or miscarriage; you will always have a special place in my heart and in my prayers.



With a little grace,

Kelsey

The Light of Our World

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” (John 8:12)

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Hello friends! I am so excited to announce that our daughter, Lucy Ann Chun, was born on December 19 at 1:45pm, weighing 8 lbs, 6 oz and 20.25 inches long. She arrived 10 days before her due date, just in time for Christmas—our sweet Christmas miracle!

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I don’t use that word lightly or as a cliche. Lucy really is our miracle. After struggling with infertility, we were completely overjoyed to find out we were pregnant—truly, through God’s goodness, a miracle. Anthony and I keep reflecting on the fact that if we had become pregnant at any other time, we wouldn’t have our sweet Lucy. Although the period of waiting was surely painful, we are so glad that it led us to her. We couldn’t imagine being parents to anyone other than this little girl, and I’m sure that feeling will only multiply as we get to know her even better throughout her lifetime.

And then, the experience of pregnancy and finally meeting Lucy—this, too, is undoubtedly a miracle. Because pregnancy and birth are so common—it’s how all of us got here—I think we overlook the absolute miraculousness of it all. But the fact that this tiny human didn’t exist 10 months ago, and started as two single cells that joined together, and over nine months grew to the little girl we see today—that is nothing short of a miracle. The birth experience itself (I will share mine in an upcoming post!)—how my body naturally knew what to do and worked perfectly with Lucy’s little body to get her out, is also incredible, beautiful, and miraculous. When I think about it all, I am truly in awe of God’s perfect design.

 
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Our Little Lucy, Our Light

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Anthony and I had waited to find out the baby’s sex until he or she was born, so we had picked out a boy and a girl name. We actually decided on both names very early in our pregnancy, and the process was incredibly easy. My high school friends can attest to the fact that I've loved the name Lucy since at least then (I'll take that as a good sign if I’ve loved her name that long!). When Anthony and I were dating, I asked him what names he liked for kids (it wasn’t that weird to ask—we were dating very seriously, okay!). Anthony, thinking that it was a bit early (stage five clinger over here) laughed and insisted we could not talk about baby names because we weren’t even engaged. Inevitably, I forced him to hear just one name I liked—Lucy. Although he laughed and wouldn’t say anything, later that day, when we had parted ways, he texted me, “I love the name Lucy :) “ (Of course, I melted.) After that, over the course of dating, engagement, and early in our marriage, Anthony and I would lovingly refer to our future/hypothetical children as “Luch” (pronounced “Looch”, as in Lucia, the Italian version of Lucy).

Fast forward to this pregnancy, when we found out we were due in late December. Lucy just seemed so fitting if it was a girl; we were due near both St. Lucy’s feast day (December 13) and the winter solstice (December 21). The name Lucy means “light” and the winter solstice is when the days begin to get lighter, after getting darker for six months. This seemed particularly appropriate, as our days of infertility had been full of darkness, and ever since her conception, our days have been full of light—she brought life and light to our world. Finally, Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) and we hope and pray, more than anything else, that Lucy comes to know Jesus and be like Him. So, in addition to St. Lucy (a martyr for the Church!), we named Lucy—the light of our world—after Jesus, the Light of the World.

Lucy is also named after three incredible women, her grandmothers and great-grandmother. Lucy’s middle name, Ann, is the same as her grandmas’ (Anthony and my mom's’) and her great-grandma Carolyn’s middle name—all Ann as well. If Lucy emulates the life of these faith-filled, fun, hard-working, and loving women, we know she will become one as well.

 
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Thank you to all who have shown us so much love, support, and excitement about the arrival of our beloved Lucy! We are so happy she is here.

with a little grace,

Kelsey



Sacramental Marriage: Our Wedding Reception

Okay, I know what you're thinking—What does a wedding reception have to do with a sacramental marriage? Well, actually, a lot.

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Guests were welcome by the tandem bike (gifted by some of the Church Ladies + put together by Mr. Patton!) complete with a 'welcome' banner and one of our favorite Bible verses, both by Dilly Dalian (surrounded by the gorgeous wreaths, repurpos…

Guests were welcome by the tandem bike (gifted by some of the Church Ladies + put together by Mr. Patton!) complete with a 'welcome' banner and one of our favorite Bible verses, both by Dilly Dalian (surrounded by the gorgeous wreaths, repurposed from the church doors!)

The Catholic Church describes, "In a sacramental marriage, God's love becomes present to the spouses in their total union and also flows through them to their family and community." Essentially, a sacramental marriage is not just about the couple getting married, but also, importantly, how they show up for their family and community. The absolute joy and ecstasy that we felt from everyone when we walked into our wedding reception embodied how God's love was not only present to Anthony and me in this sacramental union, but it also flowed through us to all our loved ones. I don't know how to describe that contagious feeling other than it felt like everyone was high on love. I truly believe we were a symbol of God's love to all our guests, and they felt that—not just our love for each other, but God's love for each one of us and them.

By now, you also all know of my love for Fr. Mike Schmitz podcasts (but if you're new here, do yourself a favor and click that link—GAME. CHANGER.). Fr. Mike acknowledges that Catholic couples should still celebrate their wedding with their community—despite the craze of the wedding industry, which unfortunately often encourages couples to focus more on their wedding than on their marriage. He explains, "Your wedding actually belongs to the whole church, so it's really good to celebrate with the whole church... Saying, Come over to the chapel and we'll have sandwiches afterwards, isn't really celebrating the wedding." I'm sure Fr. Mike would not encourage couples to spend exorbitant amounts of money or put undue focus on their wedding reception, but adequately (read: not excessively) celebrating actually honors the sacrament of marriage. It shows us that a monumental change has just taken place here, two have become one, through God's grace! 

With all that said, I hope you enjoy the story of our wedding reception, interspersed with little tips (and lots of photos!) that you or someone you know might enjoy if and when the big day comes.

For our escort cards, we had little straws with flags (Cailigraphy by Dilly Dalian) that guests could stick in their drinks (which took my sisters hours to assemble—a labor of love!)

For our escort cards, we had little straws with flags (Cailigraphy by Dilly Dalian) that guests could stick in their drinks (which took my sisters hours to assemble—a labor of love!)

The escort cards/drink straws were arranged by Erin of Anchor Event & Design and covered with Michigan cherries!

The escort cards/drink straws were arranged by Erin of Anchor Event & Design and covered with Michigan cherries!

Our guestbook: My little sister Grace (with the help of Davis!) collected these rocks along the Lake Michigan shoreline in Harbor Springs. We now have them displayed in our home!

Our guestbook: My little sister Grace (with the help of Davis!) collected these rocks along the Lake Michigan shoreline in Harbor Springs. We now have them displayed in our home!

#loveACKTually — our wedding hashtag (shoutout to my brother Bart for this one) composed of our initials: AC & KT

#loveACKTually — our wedding hashtag (shoutout to my brother Bart for this one) composed of our initials: AC & KT

A custom map of Harbor Springs (including the venues, recommended restaurants, and our home!) by, yet again, my sweet friend Caili of Dilly Dalian.

A custom map of Harbor Springs (including the venues, recommended restaurants, and our home!) by, yet again, my sweet friend Caili of Dilly Dalian.

My mom, dad, Anthony and I pulled up at the Perry Hotel in Petoskey, Michigan as my dad finished maybe his 30th iteration of "Going to the chapel..." :) While we were taking wedding party portraits in Harbor Springs (where our ceremony was), our guests mingled at cocktail hour across Little Traverse Bay, in Petoskey, Michigan. Our reception was held on an outdoor terrace, the Rose Garden at the Perry Hotel, overlooking Lake Michigan. The weather and location were perfect, and the staff at this historic hotel could not be any more wonderful!

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We didn't do a formal exit from the church after our ceremony, so our entrance would be the first time we saw our guests since the ceremony. Giddy with excitement, we eagerly waited to be introduced, as all our loved ones gathered around the dance floor.

The unofficial attire of the weekend: Sperry's + colorful pants. I swear we didn't tell guests what to wear! It's just the Harbor Springs' vibe

The unofficial attire of the weekend: Sperry's + colorful pants. I swear we didn't tell guests what to wear! It's just the Harbor Springs' vibe

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Our family and bridal party danced into the reception to Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual" thanks to Davis' (my sister Molly's boyfriend) hilarious dance skills at the Carlton. (I know there are a lot of pictures in this post, but I just can't resist sharing the pure joy on all our family members faces!)

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After they all were introduced, the music changed to Natalie Cole's upbeat and appropriately-titled "Everlasting Love"—the song Anthony and I had picked for our entrance. When I heard the music start, I was so excited that Anthony had to stop me from entering the reception prematurely, and we both burst out laughing. Finally, we heard, "Ladies and gentlemen... Mr. & Mrs. Anthony Chun!"

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We walked in, and it literally felt like we had just walked through the pearly gates. I maintain that that moment, as brand-newlyweds, with all our loved ones lining our path, cheering and clapping for us, is what it will feel like to walk into heaven, by God's grace. Hearing our guests erupt in cheers, our hands shot up in celebration and our unceasing smiles conveyed our absolute joy. Before I knew it, Anthony swept me off my feet and spun me around, carrying me like a princess. With a little dip, he set me down in front of our cake, and we sealed it with a kiss (or two...). Peep the iPhone video of our entrance—one of my favorite moments of the reception and our entire day—thanks to our beloved family friend, Allison Ward! 

As you can see in the video, our wedding cake was waiting for us at the middle of the dance floor. In planning the sequence of events for a reception (cake, dinner, dances, speeches...) consider using the time when all guests are already gathered (like after the entrance) to cut the cake or do the first dance (or both!). With all eyes on us, we cut our delectable, homemade lemon cake by our dear friend from Harbor Springs and consummate chef Maureen Abood, of cookbook fame, Rosewater & Orange Blossoms. Maureen so generously gifted this gorgeous wedding cake to us—and posted the recipe that she tested and re-tested on her award-winning blog!

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Anthony faked shoving the cake in my face, which is why we are laughing so hard :)

Anthony faked shoving the cake in my face, which is why we are laughing so hard :)

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Since we were having a dessert table, featuring yummy treats from various shops in Harbor Springs, I wanted a simple wedding cake mostly for the cutting tradition. In fact, I figured I would just make the cake with my sisters, as you can read the backstory in this post. Thankfully, my dad helped me come to my senses and Maureen so graciously offered to make our wedding cake (her first ever!). This simple, personalized, tandem bike cake topper was the perfect complement to our simple and beautiful wedding cake.

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These cocktail napkins—a cute but definitely unnecessary touch—are also from The Write Touch (like our invitations)

These cocktail napkins—a cute but definitely unnecessary touch—are also from The Write Touch (like our invitations)

Truth be told, I planned this dessert table for me. We had Harbor Springs' nationally-acclaimed Tom's Mom's Cookies, Suzie's Pies, Northern Bliss brownies and mini cookies, and Johan's massive donuts. Having a majorrr sweet tooth, I saw this as a great excuse to have all my favorite treats, and I couldn't wait to stuff my married face. Well, lesson learned. I'm glad Cory Weber got these photos because by the time I got to the dessert table, it was destroyed. Long story short, the Perry coordinators wanted to set it up before cocktail hour, which I warned them against, You don't know my family, I laughed. My dear pal and wedding coordinator Erin Brede of Anchor Events and Design later told me, "I thought I could stop kids, but there were grown men double fisting Johan's donuts!" While I may not have had more than a bite of cake for dessert, the array was a hilarious hit: Mike Leoni (a Michigan football legend) applauded the dessert being so accessible and available so early in the evening, and friends of mine told tales of waking up in the middle of the night with stomachs full of Tom's Mom's cookies and regretfully running the Fourth of July 10 mile race the next day thanks to the dessert bar. I'd say it was a success.

I love all these photos of our guests throughout the evening. I printed many of these and included them in the respective loved ones' thank you notes after the wedding. In a world where our photos are trapped on our phones and computers (and many guests will never get to see wedding photos other than a few of the couple) I think this is a sweet touch. 

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A gorgeous shot of three of my 'Cats and best friends—unintentionally coordinating! Kaitlyn (on the left) actually gets married this week!

A gorgeous shot of three of my 'Cats and best friends—unintentionally coordinating! Kaitlyn (on the left) actually gets married this week!

How cute is my uncle Mark matching his son, my cousin, August?! Seersucker sport coat, bowtie, khakis, white bucks. Precious.

How cute is my uncle Mark matching his son, my cousin, August?! Seersucker sport coat, bowtie, khakis, white bucks. Precious.

Three male models—I mean, my cousins—sporting the unofficial attire

Three male models—I mean, my cousins—sporting the unofficial attire

After Anthony stuffed my face with cake, we all made our way to the tables for dinner and speeches. As we made our way to our table, we were so touched by how many people stopped us to tell us what a wonderful wedding this was. One of our family friends who shall remain unnamed even told us that it was better than his own wedding, but "don't tell my wife!" To me, the fact that people felt this way before the "party" even started just spoke to the weight of our ceremony, and how our wedding was focused on all the things we wanted it to be. 

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My dad's speech was everything—funny, moving, heartfelt, meaningful. I am a bit biased, but it's the best father of the bride toast I've ever heard—and I others told me so as well. He recalled coaching Anthony in basketball (and coaching against him!) when Anthony and my brother were in middle school, recounted my sickness as a child and pointed out all the friends and neighbors who stood by us then as they do now, humored everyone by sharing the summer he realized we were falling for each other, and applauded our foot washing included in the ceremony... because "Thompsons love to have their feet rubbed!" One of my favorite parts was when he said that I possess the qualities of two of his favorite women: my mom and his mom, my grandma Jeanne. Fittingly, my Irish dad finished with an Irish blessing, to which he added his own touch at the end: "...and if your children bring you half the joy you have brought us, that will be enough." Pass the tissues, please. 

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Next up were my "seesters" as the co-MOHs. Molly and Tess called Anthony out for giving them bloody noses in a snowball fight when we they young, shared observations of our courtship, as well as a story I had never heard exemplifying how they looked up to me as a sister. I remember hearing my aunt Kate, sitting right in front of me, say "awww" when she heard Molly and Tess narrate this, and I had the same feeling—I was so touched. They finished with a prayer for us from Phillipians, which they didn't know when they wrote their speech was actually our second reading from our Nuptial Mass!

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Lastly, my older brother and #dayone, and Anthony's best friend and best man was up. Given his close connection to both of us, he deserved a little more time ;) I think the fan favorite (well, at least my favorite part) was when he recalled how Anthony professed his love for me to Bart before we ever started dating. He recalled our shenanigans and paling around as the two oldest of our brood. Most sentimentally of all, he talked about what Anthony's friendship means to him—how Anthony showed up for him more than anyone else at the most difficult times of his life. 

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How gorgeous is my mama?!

How gorgeous is my mama?!

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Alright—finally time to break it down! Anthony and I danced to "What If I Loved You" made for our absolute family favorite movie, Return to Me. Now let me tell you, Anthony can dance. It was so fun being spun around by him, singing the lyrics to each other, and topping it with a dip and a kiss at the end!

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The father/daughter dance was undoubtedly a highlight of the night. Growing up, Dad would always twirl us around the kitchen when music came on. I loved dancing with him at weddings or big events because he is SUCH a good dancer. So when my dad started gently swaying back and forth, I whispered, "Aren't you gonna twirl me around like you always do?!" We had specifically picked "My Girl" for its classic Motown vibes and upbeat tempo so he could do his thing! Apparently, he was worried I wouldn't be able to keep up with my heels and dress on... pshh! I remember he asked me about halfway through out dance if I was having a great day. I just looked at him, smiled, and nodded. It was perfect.

As a contrast to the two more upbeat dances, Anthony showed off his sweet and gentle side by tenderly dancing with his mom to "What a Wonderful World."

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Save for taking a failed trip to the dessert table and taking sunset portraits, we spent the rest of the night on the dance floor. Both our families love to dance, so the dance floor was packed the entire night. Highlights of the night: a dance-off involving my uncle Mark doing the splits, the bouquet toss going to my SISTER Molly (!!), having Emily's Cookies passed around on the dance floor as a late night snack (dessert bar REDEMPTION!), serenading my cousin/bridesmaid Caroline to "Sweet Caroline" as she had just arrived back on U.S. soil from a year in South Africa, turning around to discover Anthony and his dad BREAK. IT. DOWN. (apparently I am completely surrounded by men who can dance!), and closing out the night to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing," waving American flags, as July 3rd turned into July 4th. 

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Hands... Touching hands!

Hands... Touching hands!

Reaching out, touching me, touching you!

Reaching out, touching me, touching you!

Sweeeeeet Caroline!

Sweeeeeet Caroline!

Bah Bah Bahhhh!

Bah Bah Bahhhh!

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Go Cats! #NUFHsaid

Go Cats! #NUFHsaid

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If you read this whole thing, comment because you deserve a prize. And you're definitely related to me.

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with a little grace,

               Kelsey

 

All photos by Cory Weber of Weber Photography and flowers by BLOOM | Floral Design

Sacramental Marriage: Our Wedding Portraits

On cloud nine from our wedding ceremony, Anthony and I popped into the sacristy at the back of the church for our first order of business as husband and wife—to sign our marriage license! We hugged, kissed, laughed, and cried. When my brother Bart (best man) and my sister Molly (MOH with my sister Tess) joined us to sign as witnesses, it turned into one big happy, crying, hugging love-fest. I'm so glad Cory Weber managed to squeeze in that little room and be a fly on the wall. I don't even remember seeing him, but he captured our realization that we were MARRIED and our reunion with Bart, Molly, and Fr. John so perfectly.

Apparently, we were really in the clouds, because we later found out that we signed under each other's names instead of our own... and no one remembered to grab the license! (Fr. Joe from Holy Childhood came by the next day, handed it to me, and kindly noted, "I think you'll need this.") Note to all brides and grooms: put someone in charge of grabbing the marriage license—it comes in handy.

Immediately after we signed our lives away (in the best way), Cory led us to a spot around the back of the church to spend a few minutes alone together in prayer. This is something we had decided to do since we weren't doing a first look, but whether you do a first look or not, I can't recommend this idea enough. We talked to our photographer about it ahead of time so he could pick out a spot with good lighting and knew to take us there right after the ceremony.

We had heard so many times that your wedding day flies by so quickly, so we wanted to take some time just the two of us to stop and take it in (for those of you that have been following this series, you've heard that a few times by now). The day is full of preparing and celebrating with so many loved ones—and rightly so!—but we wanted to make sure we had a little time to ourselves to revel in the fact that we were officially married. Cory and his sidekick Alex stood from afar with their long lenses while Anthony and I prayed over our marriage, thanking God for this incredible blessing. Truly, they were five minutes in heaven.

Whether you're using the time to pray or say HOLY COW WE'RE MARRIED, these are minutes alone with your new spouse that you won't want to miss. (Bonus: the pictures were some of our favorite couple shots from the entire day—completely candid and filled with joy!)

Right on cue, we knew our five minutes were up when Denise, the church lady from Holy Childhood, came bustling across the lawn. She was worried we wouldn't have enough time to take pictures in the church, but because it was plenty light out, we had decided to take our portraits outside #naturallight. Our families filed outside and took multiple permutations of portraits full of love... and fun! 

After family photos, we we headed to the pier to take bridal party portraits. When Cory asked us how we wanted to get to the Pier, we decided it would be fun to walk through town, to my sister Tess' dismay (her poor feet were killing her). Now we're talking Harbor Springs here, population 1,000, so walking through downtown was literally two blocks—I'm not that evil of a big sister! And although Tess I'm sure would beg to differ, I was so happy we walked those two blocks. Cars stopped and honked, people on the street cheered, clapped, and parted the sea for us. I couldn't stop smiling and waving my bouquet; I felt like we were the main event of a parade! We didn't plan this part, but to all the brides out there, try to go somewhere other than your venues in your wedding dress. Our short little promenade made us feel so special, like the whole town was celebrating our marriage! I love the following photos because they capture the joy we were feeling so perfectly (how many times can a girl hoist her bouquet? #WooGirl).

Taking photos on the pier, I just remember feeling so full of joy. My cheeks were hurting from smiling constantly, but I couldn't stop! I was not the least bit phased that the beautiful scallop on the bottom of my dress (which I was obsessed with) was covered in dirt from our walk through town. Nothing could bring me down.

As much as I thought it might be awkward being all lovey-dovey in front of a camera, I didn't even think about it, which speaks volumes to Cory and Alex. Cory includes an engagement session for all his couples, which is so nice for getting to know the photographer—and for getting comfortable on camera—before the big day. (Additionally, Cory is a northern Michigan wedding photographer, so he has shot many weddings in Harbor Springs, Holy Childhood, and at our reception venue. If you're going with a photographer who's not familiar with your locations, make sure they scout them for good lighting and such before the wedding.) Even more than our engagement session, I felt so comfortable and natural. I felt like Cory was more like a friend sharing in our celebration than a photographer (and my bridesmaids said the same!). Above all, Anthony and I (and our families) were just so overjoyed that there was no thoughts about being on camera or posing; we were just living in the moment!

Finally, we met my mom and dad in our friend Dr. Abood's convertible that he had lent to us for fashionable transportation to the reception. As we drove away, a dad said to his daughter, "Look, a bride!" so I gave my best princess wave to her (thank you, Princess Diaries). 

As we drove the 15 minutes to the reception, my dad smiled and sang the whole way, "Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get maaaaarried," which had been on the Spotify playlist my sisters made us. It was so adorable. It was another reminder that Anthony and I weren't the only ones on cloud nine. 

All photos by Cory Weber of Weber Photography and flowers by BLOOM | Floral Design

Sacramental Marriage: Our Wedding Ceremony

After a joyful morning getting ready, it was time for our wedding ceremony, our Catholic Nuptial Mass. Anthony and I wanted our ceremony—more than any other aspect of our wedding—to be what people remembered about the day. We didn't want the focus of our wedding to be having a great party, but the act of Anthony and me becoming one. We wanted the meaning and uniqueness of the sacrament of marriage to be honored and experienced—that our marriage expresses the unbreakable bond of love between Jesus and His people. We planned our day in hopes that every aspect would reflect this, and we prayed that our wedding would serve as a means for those gathered to experience God's love for them. We were so touched that our guests commented on, above all else, how meaningful and moving our ceremony was.

Anthony and I were married in the idyllic little white church at the heart of Harbor Springs, Holy Childhood of Jesus Catholic Church. Conveniently, my parents' place is literally a stone's throw away, so after our "no-look first look," I walked across the street with my crew, arm-in-arm with my dad. Once in the bridal room, we sat in a circle, chatting and giggling with nervous excitement. Together with my bridesmaids, Grace, our flower girl, and my parents, we prayed. It was one of the only moments of the day that was not documented on camera, but in a way, there is something so sacred about the fact that only those individuals, whose faith I love and admire, were with me in that moment—my last as a single woman.

Before we knew it, my dear friend and wedding planner Erin of Anchor Events and Design lined up the bridal party! As they processed to Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring—performed by my friend, the incredible pianist, Bobby Porter—butterflies filled my stomach. I couldn't believe it was really happening. As I waited in the back with my dad, I burped under my breath, but Dad caught it. He burst out laughing, eyes closed, head cocked back, stifling through his laughter, "NICE—it wouldn't be Kelsey without that!" That moment was just the comic relief I needed before walking down the aisle. 

After the bridal party had processed, Grace and Charlie, my littlest sister and brother, walked down the aisle, arm-in-arm as our flower girl and ring bearer. It was so sweet hearing the soft gasps fall across the church as they appeared at the back of the aisle, taking their jobs so seriously.

Finally, Yiurma's "A River Flows in You," signified it was our turn. Dad and I rounded the corner, and stopped at the back of the church, looking out. One of the best pieces of advice Anthony and I got—from the hilarious lady at Macy's who helped us register, no less—was to stop right before I walk down the aisle to take in that surreal moment. We actually did this throughout our wedding day (and engagement), but for all the brides out there, this is one moment I wouldn't miss—as eager as you are to get to your groom! I will never forget looking around at all the radiant faces, smiling back at me, and locking eyes with Anthony as he lifted his head to see me and began to cry.

My Grandpa's face in this... so radiant with joy!

My Grandpa's face in this... so radiant with joy!

When we reached my sweet groom, my dad hugged Anthony and whispered, "I'm so proud of you, I love you." I had done so well up until that point, but the tears leaked out when I heard that. I'm sure that moment wasn't particularly easy for my dad, but the love and admiration he has for Anthony seem to make it a whole lot easier. 

We picked Genesis 2:18-24 for our first reading to elucidate our oneness through God; we were becoming one spirit, one body through the sacrament of marriage. Our second reading, Philippians 1:3-10, Anthony and I chose as a prayer for each other and an expression of our commitment to get each other to heaven. Our short and sweet Gospel reading, John 15:9-12 (which we had engraved on our wedding rings) again signified a sacramental marriage; if we remain in God's love, by His grace, our love will always remain. Regardless if your ceremony is spiritual or not, spending time praying or discerning thoughtfully with your fiancé(e) on which readings/poems to include in your ceremony contributes to the uniqueness of your big day.

After all the readings, came one of the best parts of the whole day: Father John's homily. Almost immediately after getting engaged, we had asked our spiritual director of five years, Fr. John Kartje, to guide us through marriage preparation and officiate our wedding—to which he responded, "If the Pope called me to Rome, I'd turn him down." Having someone who knows you well (and works with you throughout the marriage prep process) officiate the wedding makes it so meaningful and personalized. Having "FJ" as part of our wedding was decided in our minds long before we were engaged, and was undoubtedly one of the best decisions we made for our wedding.

Fr. John's exceptional homily, marked by his dry humor and wit, led perfectly into the next part of our Nuptial Mass: Anthony and I washing each other's feet. We had chosen to add this piece when we washed each other's feet at a Holy Thursday service (a Catholic tradition that reflects Jesus washing the feet of His disciples at the Last Supper). Including this in our ceremony symbolized how, through this sacrament, we would devote ourselves as servants to one another, striving to live out our marriage in Jesus' example. Fr. John, however, added a crucial point in his homily:

"When Kelsey and Anthony wash each other's feet, it will be an extraordinary example of service and what extraordinary servants they are of God's love. But for me when I see them do that, it will be a wonderful celebration of how much they have learned to let themselves be loved. To let themselves really believe that they are a princess and prince, not just because they hit it out of the park in their clothing today, not just because this is such an extraordinary and beautiful occasion—but in the every days of life, when it's Tuesday morning, 16 years from now, they're going to continue to let themselves be loved."

After we finished washing each other's feet to The Servant Song (so fitting and one of our all-time favorites) we exchanged vows. At the beginning of our marriage preparation, Fr. John had recommended we write out our vows, which are set by the Catholic Church, and put them somewhere we would see them every day. Not only would we memorize them that way, he said, but those words would mean more to us, having thought about them each day of our engagement. I told you he was brilliant (did I mention he also has his PhD in astrophysics? #AstroPriest). In addition to these vows, Anthony suggested we write our own vows to each other as wedding gifts, which we read to each other on our wedding night. As a words of affirmation person, that was a pretty perfect wedding gift! 

Following the Rite of Marriage, Anthony's sisters read the prayers of the faithful, which Anthony and I wrote together—another way you can personalize a Catholic Nuptial Mass! As we began the Liturgy of the Eucharist, our Godparents brought up the gifts to another one of our favorite songs, "I will Choose Christ." If you can't tell, Anthony and I loved choosing the music for our ceremony; I tear up when I hear one of our songs played in church! Like the readings, the music makes your nuptials unique, and you won't regret approaching it with thoughtfulness or prayer.

Two kids who just realized they're officially married! 

Two kids who just realized they're officially married! 

During the Consecration (yep, there's more—Catholic Masses are long!) the bread and wine are turned into Jesus' living body and blood. During this solemn moment, kneeling so close to the altar, with my brand-spanking new husband by my side, and all of our loved ones gathered around us, I was overwhelmed with awe. I felt the presence of Jesus right there in front of me in that moment like I never have before. The best way I can describe it is it felt like the closest I've ever been to heaven—so surreal and divine. I have such a vivid mental snapshot of that moment, which Cory Weber also caught on camera below:

One of my favorite parts of every Mass is the Sign of Peace. I love kissing, hugging, and flicking peace signs to all my family members—it's one big love fest! But this one was extra special. We had all our family members there to offer and to receive a sign of peace as newlyweds, but it also happened that my moment with my Grandpa Byron was my last. Despite his sickness, he had fought so hard to make it to our wedding. He was not well enough to come to our reception, and died a month later. I remember he looked at me through his teary eyes and Irish-whispered, "This is beautiful, Kelsey, beautiful... I love you, honey." What a moment to be our last together.

Once we received the Eucharist, we watched all our loved ones partake in Communion as "How Beautiful," "I am the Bread of Life," and "Speak Now, O Lord" played. Looking out from the altar, Anthony and I whispered to each other how we couldn't believe that all these people were here for us. Regardless of the type of ceremony, the view that the newlyweds have of everyone they love looking up at them cannot be replicated. The photos are amazing, but only we knew how that unique perspective looked, so Anthony and I made sure to take mental snapshots.

The final piece we added to our Nuptial Mass was a devotion to Mary, Mother of Jesus. We saw this as an opportunity to also honor our own amazing mothers, who are largely responsible for instilling in us our Catholic faith. Like our Mother Mary, our mamas are full of Grace and love Jesus. Arm in arm, the four of us prayed a Hail Mary in front of St. Mary's statue as Elizabeth Cameron sang my favorite Mary song from grade school, "Ave Maria, Hail Mary."

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FINALLY (bless you, if you're still reading this) Anthony and I had our first kiss as husband and wife—and we snuck in a second! We walked down the aisle to Ode to Joy, full of joy. 

All photos by Cory Weber of Weber Photography and flowers by BLOOM | Floral Design

Sacramental Marriage: Our Wedding Morning

I have never shared our wedding on With A Little Grace before. Yes, I've referred to it, written wedding planning tips, discussed lessons I've learned from marriage, and—of course—by now you all know about my holy husband, Anthony. But I've never shared details from our wedding day. Although I'm always happy to gush about our most joyful day ever, I try to avoid using WALG simply as a diary of my life (you can follow me on Instagram for that). It hasn't felt appropriate to discuss my wedding because, until now, most of my readers are already married (shout out to my mom and all her friends, the church ladies!) or were not engaged. But now, many of my readers and peers are engaged and preparing for their big day—and more importantly, for a lifetime of marriage. It feels more relevant now to share about our big day in hopes that both the fun (albeit unnecessary) details and the focus on preparing for a sacramental marriage might help, in some small way, you or someone you love in planning and preparing for the big day and the rest of your life. So, in honor of our second anniversary today, I hope you enjoy the first installment of the story, our wedding morning.

invitations by The Write Touch

invitations by The Write Touch

cookies by Emily Pierce of Cookie Love

cookies by Emily Pierce of Cookie Love

clutch from The Write Touch - and gifted to me by The Geppners :)

clutch from The Write Touch - and gifted to me by The Geppners :)

Anthony and I were married on July 3, 2015 in Harbor Springs, Michigan. As we fell in love and got engaged in this quaint little Americana town, it was only fitting that we had our wedding there, too. (Although, since I was a young girl, I wanted to get married in the beautiful, iconic white church that is the pinnacle of town.) Harbor Springs stole my heart before Anthony did, while vacationing there in the summer and winter growing up. Harbor Springs, located in northern Michigan ("up north") near the top of the lower peninsula, is more than our special spot; it is truly our favorite place in the world—"God's country." 

On the morning of our wedding, I woke up squeezed between my three sistersin the same bed. We sleep like that when we're together sometimes, especially on holidays or special occasions. So there was no way we weren't sleeping together the night before my wedding. I woke up before my alarm with so much excitement, joy, and peace. I couldn't believe the day we had planned for, prayed for, and prepared for was finally here! My dad peeped into our room and morning whispered, "Someone's getting married today!" which stirred my sisters.

When we had all showered and my three cousins (my bridesmaids in addition to my sisters) arrived, I gifted my bridesmaids, my mom, and our flower girl, my sweet little sister Grace, with monogrammed, oversized, button-down shirts and coordinating Southern Tide boxers to wear. We had our hair and makeup done by La Dolce Vita, who did a great job because they made me look like me. I didn't want my hair to be in a über-fancy design that didn't reflect how I usually wore it or have my makeup overly done. A friend told me after the wedding, "You just looked...like you," which was the best compliment she could have given me, because that is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to look back  at our photos and think, that is what I actually looked like at that time.

We had such a joyful morning getting ready while eating Johan's donuts and a whole lot of dancing—including my dad and brothers! My sisters Molly and Tess curated an incredible Spotify playlist as a surprise for me, filled with love songs from our favorite movies (Return to Me, My Best Friend's Wedding, My Girl, About Time...), oldies, and boy bands (hellooo Backstreet Boys *cue all bridesmaids breaking out in "As Long as You Love Me"*). We recently listened on repeat to this famous playlist at my cousin's bachelorette weekend two years later—it's that good. For any bridesmaids looking for an extremely thoughtful yet free way to surprise a bride, I highly recommend creating a playlist of her favorite love songs as well as any that might have special meaning or history—or simply that can guarantee all present breaking out in song.

As we were finishing up getting ready and eating lunch, I wrote a letter to Anthony (who was getting ready a few blocks away) that would be delivered with his gift. He actually knew what he was getting; we had gone shopping for fragrances together to give each other perfume/cologne (fittingly, Love Story by Chloé and Homme by Dior, respectively). We really wanted our wedding gifts to each other to be meaningful, and as memory is closely tied to smell, we each wanted to have a scent that was tied to our special day to help cement our memories. (We actually wore our scents throughout our honeymoon and now wear them sometimes on dates or special occasions to bring back a cascade of joyful memories!)

When Anthony's letter and gift to me arrived, one of my best friends and our incredible videographer/graphic designer/personal artist, Caili Dalian of Dilly Dalian, had each of us read the letter we received on camera. These letters that we wrote to each other on the morning of our wedding are gifts I will always cherish (I am a words of affirmation person, after all). They encapsulated how we were feeling in that unique moment in time, and are the only communication we had with each other before the wedding. On that note, I highly recommend getting off social media and your phone on the big day, and giving your phone to a bridesmaid for any last minute details that need to be hammered out via text (thanks, Sweet Caroline!). Going phone-free wasn't necessarily something I planned, it was just something that happened because I was not interested in what was going on in the outside world when I had my wedding happening right here! If there is ever a time to be present and unplug, it's on your wedding day. #NoRagrets on that one!

About two hours before the ceremony, we headed upstairs where my mom, sisters, and cousins helped me into my wedding dress and put on my veil. We wanted to have enough time to take bridal portraits and photos with the bridesmaids. Getting dressed was such a giddy and special time during the day. We had many laughs as we... ahem... adjusted... things (shout out to you, Addie, for going above the call of duty as a bridesmaid!) to seven-year-old Grace's amusement. It was so special just having my mom and best friends—my sisters and three cousins—there, as well all seemed to wonder Is this actually happening? Am I getting married?!

Once ready, it was time for my first look with my dad—what I later found out was one of my cousins' favorite parts of the entire day (My bridesmaid + cousin Haley also captured the moment front and center). I hadn't necessarily planned to do a father/daughter first look, but I strongly recommend you do. It was the only moment throughout the day that I truly cried—and so did he, my mom, and the bridesmaids (I think even our photographer, Cory Weber, teared up!). It's hard to describe that moment in words, so I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

After the father first look and bridal portraits, we headed outside to take bridesmaid photos. Right before the photos, I gifted my parents with three mini plaques made of Michigan wood. One had a bike (our wedding theme and a icon of Harbor Springs), one the Michigan mitten with a heart on Harbor Springs, and the third with my dad's famous line: "Be the Best Version of Yourself." It was a simple gift, but one with so much meaning, and they sit on my parent's bookshelf today. 

As Anthony and I didn't want to see each other before the wedding, we would have to take bridal party and couple photos between the ceremony and reception, during the guests' cocktail hour. To cut down the time spent taking photos later (and not to make us too late to our own reception) we each took photos before the ceremony with our respective bridal party.

While Cory had been taking photos of the bride and bridesmaids, his assistant photographer, Alex, walked a few blocks to where Anthony and the groomsmen were getting ready. Anthony gifted each guy with a white button-down that had his initials on the sleeve, as well as a coral seersucker bowtie, and blue seersucker suspenders. Anthony and the groomsmen—my brothers and his friends—took "shots" of Gu (the nasty stuff they eat for energy on their 300-mile bike ride) while Anthony's family and our ring bearer, my brother Charlie, got ready with them. 

Finally, when all the bridal party photos were taken, Anthony was brought over for our "no-look first look." As I mentioned, we were intent on not seeing each other before the wedding, but we thought it would be fun to be able to hold each other's hand and pray before we actually saw each other. I walked out on my parents' side of the deck and Anthony on our neighbor's—which are only separated by a wooden wall. We reach around the front of the wall and held hands, as our photographers took photos from below. The moment was both peaceful yet exciting; it was so calming to hold Anthony's hand and hear his voice, yet it made us both feel how real this all was. We just kept squeezing each other's hand, smiling, laughing, and saying "I love you!" after praying together. If you are looking for a way to take photos together or simply pray together before your wedding but want your first look to be down the aisle, you can hold hands on opposite sides of a wall, an open door, or around the corner from each other. 

After our no-look first look, it was time for the ceremony! (Coming soon to WALG...)

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with a little grace,

          Kelsey

 

Happy anniversary to my most holy and wonderful husband, the love of my life and the light of my world. Thank you for two beautiful years of marriage. The best is yet to come. I love you!

All photos by Cory Weber of Weber Photography